


Friend of my brother, my brother

by szarabasjka



Category: Supernatural AU
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:28:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11251272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/szarabasjka/pseuds/szarabasjka
Summary: fill to thispromptPrefer if this is a non-supernatural AUCastiel has been infatuated with Sam forever. Sam is smart, and kind, and just generally great. His crush is pretty obvious to everyone (up to the author whether sam knows or is oblivious).Sam is straight or just not interested in Castiel.Castiel does not like Dean, generally. Dean is rough, and rude, and sleeps around etc.Something happens to get Castiel to start seeing Dean in a different light, and eventually Dean/cas end up together - falling in love, not just hate!sex.Hoping for lots of banter between the two before they get together.Bonus points if Castiel's opinion of Sam drops significantly too, not just that his crush goes away.If explicit, all kinks welcome.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Again!!! and repeating for the people in the back!!  
> this is a story filling a promnpt I just added teh angst and the words.

Tittle: friend of my brother, my brother.  
Author: Kali  
Pairing: Dean/Cas, Sam/Cas (kinda).  
Kinks: objectification, fluff, jerkDean, JerkSam,   
***

Cas met Sam on their first week at college; at the library, Cas had just few book s while Sam was carrying enough for two. They were searching for the same Sociology book and Sam smiled at him, his shirt had a name: John.

He was tall, muscular, lots and lots of tanned skin in sight because her shirt wad ridden up with the books, Cas felt his mouth water at the guy’s six pack. 

The line was a mile long and Sam was so in the back that when Cas called him “hey John, I’m over here.” The guy behind him groaned. “What?” Cas said smiling. “He’s carrying half my books.”

At the time he didn’t know just how much he liked Sam, with that beautiful smile and he dimples, and the smell, always smelling so masculine, wood and sweat and something else… candy.

He had books for four of his classes and it surprised him. And the lady at the register frowned and looked at them funny at the sight of three Sociology books. “one is for my brother… he’s fixing our apartment… at least that’s what I think he’s doing…?” he said half smiling and Cas smiled back stupidly, cursing whatever God sent a brother.

“So you’re not living in a dorm?”

Sam smiled again. “No, thanks Goodness, heard it’s terrible!” Cas shrugged and made a face. “I’ve seen worst.” Sam laughed, and Cas was hooked.

Until Sam’s phone buzzed, he made a face. “Dean!” he had a smile on his face and Castiel was already jealous of that Dean. “No, I’m done with that already, you should come to the…” he turned looking for a sign. “Uh… Biggerson’s, at 3rd and Maple.” Once he hung up. 

“So…” Cas didn’t want to go yet.

“So…” Sam smiled even brighter. “Want to grab something to eat? Meet my brother?”

That’s how Cas met Dean, and DAMN if the Winchester weren’t gorgeous.

If you look at them, Cas thought; they don’t look that much like brothers, there’s a something in their eyes, and their lips, but while Sam has perfectly kissable lips, Dean’s are fuller, sexier. –Shut up, you didn’t just think your crush brother’s lips were sexy- Cas sighed at the mess in his head.

“Hi, I’m Dean.” the wink the guy game him made his skin crawl. He sat and Cas noticed a stain of lip gloss on his neck. “Did you order?”

Sam took a napkin and pointed to his face to let Dean notice the stains. “Not yet, we just got in here.”

“You got my books?” Sam shook the bag.

“You got everything at the apartment fixed?” Dean groaned. “Dean…”

“I’ll do some tonight, okay?” and turning to Cas. “So… you’re freshman too?”

Cas liked Sam, but Dean looked like a slacker. “Yeah, this is all new for me.” he said candid. “Everything is new and I’m kinda scared.” Why was he saying that to him?

Dean smiled while Sam was already checking his books. “Don’t worry; you’ll get used in no time.” He opened the menu and made a sound.  
Sam was engrossed in text books when the waitress came. “Hi, I’m Amber, you know what you’ll have? Or need a couple minutes?”

“Hey sweetie.” Dean smiled at her making her blush and swallow, Cas felt disgusted. “I want a cheese bacon burger, fries and a soda.” He turned to Sam who turned a page. “One Farmer’s salad, baked potatoes for him, and ice tea.” He kicked Sam under the table but Sam only made a noise, turning giant green eyes to Castiel asked. “You?”

“Salad… soda…” and checking the menu to avoid being caught staring at Sam’s lips. “Fries?”

“Great, it’ll take like fifteen minutes.” She said smiling and left, Dean looked at her as she left.

That’s how he met the Winchester brothers one weekend before starting college.

Cas and Sam had four of five classes together, and two also with Dean, there was only one class bio physics that Dean and Cas shared alone and after a couple months Sam and Cas had formed a close group of friends while Dean was always out. His grades, by some miracle weren’t bad though.  
Castiel and Sam spend a lot of time together, studying or just hanging out, Cas felt like Sam knew how bad was his crush on him, but tolerated him just the same.

Especially in nights like this when they kept working to finish a paper because Sam was too nervous to sleep and Castiel wanted to help his friend and crush.

“That’s it.” Sam was finishing on his laptop. “You just have to prepare the content table and we’re done.” Castiel almost clapped it was the worst paper so far, politics was absurd. Why on earth he took that class? 

That’s when Dean opened the door, mumbling something while yawning and throwing his jacket to the floor, his almost see-through white shirt was ruined with mascara and lip gloss.

“What happened?” Sam was up and running to him. “You were supposed to be here hours ago!” 

Sam always worried for his good for nothing brother, checking on him when Dean didn’t even had the decency to let him know he’d be out the entire night. “Sorry Sammy, that was a hella good party.” He said with a lopsided smile.

Sam smiled back and letting out a sigh of relief let his older brother go to bed.

“I don’t know how you put up with that, if one of my brothers pulled one of those on me, he’d be out the door…”

“If you were my brother, Cas... I’d still be at the party.” Dean shouted from the bathroom. “Why is your limpet here anyways?”

“Dean!” Sam shouted before turning to Cas. “Sorry, he’s tired and…”

Castiel smiled. “I know he’s tired, hung over and being a douche as usual!” he said louder. “I should get going anyways…”

It was almost two in the morning on a Friday. “Stay, it’s dangerous out there on your own.”

And Cas slept in the couch, smiling like an idiot because Sam was worried about him.  
***

Classes were stressful and having Dean fucking Winchester sitting a couple rows behind you was frustrating, he was always giving an opinion that made most teachers laugh, and the way they looked at him as if he were precious, even when his point of view was pedestrian, according to most of the guys in class. 

The worst was Sociology; Dr. Huffman was always smiling and giving him looks of pure interest, she ignored most guys in the room for Dean, even Castiel and Sam, why someone would ignore Sam to pay attention to Dean; Castiel thought frustrated, one days she was giving graded papers back.   
“Okay guys only two of you got top grades, no wonder…” and she got their papers in her hands. “Abel?” And she gave him his paper. “Single Parent’s raised children: a life in a cage. I don’t think so.” someone laughed behind them. “Burke? I can’t even begin to tell you what’s wrong with this… wait for me after class.” That had Cas wringing his hands, he was worried, biophysics was really taking his time and he wrote this paper in one night. 

“James Castiel Novak…” she offered him the paper. “Faith, and obligation: hearing the call. Not enough, but you’re getting there.” Cas sighed, not perfect, but good enough not to fear for his partial scholarship, Sam sitting close him nudged him with a hand as a show of support.

“Winchester!” she said finally, grinning already. “Dean…” she said still smiling when both guys turned. “Socially acceptable bonds: Incest across history and as part of mythology.” She waved the paper on her hand as she got to his desk. “That was disturbing in so many ways… but you made your point as usual, congrats, perfect score.” Dean raised a fist in the air smiling. “Glad you’re happy; I’ve never been so tempted to steal someone’s research in my career before.” Dean’s face pinked and Dr Huffman liked her lips, as if controlling her demeanor. 

“Sam… Myths and pop culture: Monsters and lies. Awesome read, really cool.” She smiled at him. “also perfect score, you’re smart… not as smart as Dean but smart.” She said and moved to the front of the class.

Castiel was working on a church and studying most of the time, and yet he couldn’t make ends meet, not like his always absent father or his douche brothers would mind, and he’d been all alone if it weren’t for Sam, sweet kind Sam always worried for him. “It’s just the two of us.” He said. “You should come for dinner.”

Castiel got there the night Sam invited him, he passed the door when Sam opened it and the smell of a homemade meal hit him in the face. Dean was yawning and nursing a beer in the kitchen. “Come on in, we’ll be having dinner very soon.” 

Sam and Cas sat on the couch and started talking about their classes and school and work.

“Awesome; I don’t have enough of all that during the week.” Dean got up. “Sammy, I’ll go take a shower, okay? Just don’t let the food get burnt.”  
Sam made a face. “Sure…”

Sam opened up more about his family, their mother died when he was a baby, so he grew up without a mom. His dad was some sort of crazy paranoid ass who was against them going their separate ways, so Dean had to wait up for Dean so both of them could go to college. “It was only a year, and he’d never let me forget it.” Sam said with a smile and an eye roll.

They could hear Dean singing some mullet rock song, one of those anthems for strippers and Sam rubbed his neck ashamed. “I just… he’s my brother you know?”

How could you not love him?

Dinner was awesome and Dean kept fishing for compliments, yes he cooked, big deal, it was Sam who did pretty much everything around, right? Why was he making such a big deal out of it? 

“It’s my mom’s recipe…” he said. “I kept her recipe’s book.” He said emptying his beer bottle.

Sam obliged his older brother for a while praising the food before falling silent, sure he had enough of Dean’s cocky attitude. “Your turn to do the dishes.” Dean said and got up. “I’ll get a couple hours of shut eye before going, there’s this big party tonight…” he yawned, it was middle week; the smile on his face made Cas scrunch his nose. “I know prude-stiel.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Parties are not your thing.”

“Apparently not the kind you call a party.” He got up and started picking up dirty dishes with Sam. “I’m sure I won’t mind not having enough barely legal girls drunk enough not to say no.” Sam intervened so they don’t end up in a fistfight.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean turned when he was already on his way to his room. “Do you have any idea of who I am, little prick?”

“Dean Please…” Sam was between his brother and Cas.

“Just for you to know, sanctimonious angel wannabe, I’d never take advantage of a girl.” 

“Not like I care, anyways.” Cas said already feeling bad for causing this brawl. “I guess we’re just different.”

Dean smirk and his look from feet to head made him understand how much Dean disliked him. “You’re right; I’m not a fucking virgin offering judgment as if it were my fucking right.” 

“Dee…” Sam begged. “Please…” it was like it defused him. 

He turned to his brother. “Seriously Sammy, why is he here again?” Sam gave him a meaningful look. “There’s pie in the oven… ” He said patting his baby brother’s hand. “Save me a slice.”

Castiel had to apologize to Sam for that and he stayed with his friend that night too, even if Sam went to bed, maybe tired of waiting up for his brother. Dean didn’t come home until morning and then he went to bed as if classes weren’t important.

He had seen Dean around in the few parties where they went together. While Cas still had a thing for Sam and Sam looked like he knew at times, he still danced and had a good time, Sam had a few good friends with benefits, not Cas, though; and he went home with them sometimes. Maybe he cared too much about Cas to do that with him.

Dean… Dean left every party early, with very young girls totally drunk, after a while he was back for the next victim he saw him taking a smany as three or four, it was disgusting and he was almost tempted to report him, if it weren’t for Sam.

He even competes with other well known jerks. Like that Douche Amell, the one that works out with Sam, or the emo freaks obsessed with blood, is like they were fighting over some drunken girl all the time. That’s why he said what he said, even if it unsettled Sam.

Mostly Castiel saw Dean asleep, for partials or right after deadlines, when Sam had Castiel over to watch a game or just to chill out at weekends; Dean was asleep. 

Once coming home after a pep rally the land lord was there. “Hey Sam.”

Sam smiled. “Mr. Reid…” he said in his most convincing good boy voice, Castiel felt his heart do a cartwheel at it. 

“I knocked at your apartment few minutes ago, it’s already the 10th and I haven’t seen a check in my mailbox…” 

Sam scrunched his eyes. “Sorry, my brother has the money, I swear, I’ll go check if he’s home and I’ll bring it to you, right away.”

So Castiel had to see as Sam entered Dean’s room at the middle of the day on a Saturday to see Dean’s naked torso emerging from under the covers. “Rent is past due… again.”

“It’s on my pocket…” Dean mumbled. “Forgot…”

Sam let out a curse before slamming the door, Dean’s distinctive pentagram keychain hanging from it.

It happened again few days later.

“Hold on.” Sam got up after they decided going to watch a foreign movie one of their teachers asked them to see. “I’ll take Dean’s car keys.” He opened the door to Dean’s bedroom and entered. “I’m taking the car.”

Dean just mumbled something about gas. “I will be back before that…!” he said pissed. “It was ONE time Dean, only ONE time!” roared Sam and Dean hid under the pillow. “Gosh… that’s why I want my own car.” Cas saw as Sam pulled the curtain open in one pull. “This place reeks!”

Dean mumbled something before Castiel could understand. “Someone emptied a drink on me last night…” and turning to the door. “Tell me you’re finally doing something about that kid and his silly crush on you.”

“Shut up!” Sam said on his way out and ignored his brother’s words.

“Right, it’s better to have him doing your work.” Dean mumbled and Castiel flipped him a finger before turning around while dean smiled and blow him a kiss and burying his face under his pillow..

Castiel had enough. “You should be more grateful, your brother does everything for your sorry ass.”

Dean groaned before turning in bed to face him. “And you rather have him doing you?” Sam huffed and left going for his jacket mumbling “I give up on you two.”

“What I do or do not with my brother is my business.” Dean said. “And you really should act on your little crush, just to see what happens.”

“You think it embarrasses me? It doesn’t.” 

“Not like he cares anyways, right?” Dean yawned. “not acting on it? Then you should try looking for someone else.” He looked at Cas. “Find someone else, prude like you, maybe less complicated.” He took something from the bed and scrunching his face reading it. “Who the fuck is Tammy?

“Only God knows, with sluts like you, one can never know.” Castiel crossed his arms. “You should help your brother a little and get yourself a real job”

“Good one douche!” Dean shouted. “That’s as smart as you and your self righteous friends want to think you are.”

“Oh save it, that’s far better than pretend you’re smart when you’re repeating what you read in magazines.”

Dean laughed. “Magazines?” he got up from the bed and Cas could see a hand print on his hip. “You’re judging my book knowledge Mr. Oprah’s list?”

“Enough… ” Sam had his jacket. “Seriously! Why can’t you get along without me having to be the referee?”

Dean spoke; poison sipping out of every word. “Because this little ass wants to believe, he’s better than me, at least I know who I am; I’m not pretending I’m some kind of country club scumbag when I can’t even afford a fucking meal at the end of the month.” Dean closed his mouth and turned to Sam.

“Go find yourself another drunken barely legal bimbo!” Cas said and started walking away. 

Dean was saying something but Sam shouted for him to shut up. “That’s low Dean…” Sam said and caught Cas by the arm.

“What? I shouldn’t judge the guy who thinks I’m raping drunken kids at parties?” 

“I told you to let it go!” Sam turned and to Cas. “you two don’t know each other, you have no ground to judge each other, I tell you all the time!” Sam shook Castiel’s arm. “Don’t you dare to take my brother serious…” 

Castiel heard the jingling of the keychain he knew so well by now, the pentagram, the crucifix, a star of David, a sun, a square little idol and several other things attached to the car and the apartment keys.  
Castiel turned and Dean rubbed his face tired. “I never take him serious. Who would?” Castiel smiled to Dean.

“See?” Dean said to his brother before fixing his eyes on Cas. “I bet he has the same kind of blue collar family putting him in his place at home.” and to Cas. “I might not be quoting Hobbes every two sentences, but it doesn’t mean I’m an ignorant.”

“You think you’re smart? You’re like a walking joke of philosophical drunk at the pub.”

“Says the guy who can’t even find his way out of a tool box to put six fucking pulleys together to simulate an arm!” Dean looked at Sam pointing to Castiel. “I can’t believe you want me to work with him for his project.” 

Castiel’s heart melted at the idea of his friend asking his jerk of a brother to help him on his lab project for physics.

He didn’t even answer Dean; he was touched by Sam’s interest. He accepted Dean’s help, just because Sam wanted him to.

Right around Halloween, that neither Winchester celebrates but they are not comfortable explaining why, Dean was using crutches. “What the fuck have you done now?” Cas asked tired, Sam had to literally carry Dean to the classroom.

“Oh nothing, Cas, I decided to try if I can pity teachers into giving me better grades.” Dean had a smile on his face. “Oh wait, they’re perfect already…” winked at him before getting serious; like he was really pissed off. “You should try too, it’s the funniest thing ever; and you actually need the extra help.”

“Dean!” Sam turned at Castiel “Leave him be.” Sam rolled his eyes. “He’s still pissed. Look I gotta go, I have Russian literature.” He was three buildings away and Castiel looked at Dean as if it were all his fault.

“What? You think my leg will heal automatically if you stare at it like that?”

“I’m not looking at your leg.”

“No?”

“No, I’m looking at the self important idiot it’s attached to.”

Dean let out a sigh. “Do you feel better now? Can I have peace? Are you leaving me alone now?”

“Not yet, I would but I have to say something.” Castiel got closer to Dean. “Maybe you could really try to be less a burden for Sam, maybe you could start trying to be less a jerk to your brother.”

“I will, when you stop being a looser who can’t even ask said brother on a date.”

Castiel’s mouth gapped. “You’re such a jerk!”

Dean made a sound. “And you’re a baby!” and turning away from him “and what I do or do not with my brother is my own fucking business.”

“Quiet now…” professor Kripke let out and huffing. “I’ve heard about your inconvenience Dean, you’ll be excused of labs until the end of the month.”  
Dean nodded but his voice sounded off. “Thank you.”

“You’ve ruined your grade though.” Kripke took his notes and started lecturing them on pulleys and the human body. Dean’s face fell, and every girl in the class room cooed at him.  
***

Castiel was hoping he could see Sam at the end of the class, even Dean waited for a while, before getting up the best he could and starting his very difficult way up the stairs in crutches and carrying his books. Cas for a couple seconds thought that it’ll teach Dean not to use others, like the girls at tall those parties. Until a couple girls came to Dean’s help. 

“Heard you had a fight… ” A blonde pretty girl said. “You shouldn’t fight for Gen she’s a bitch anyways.”

Dean chuckled. “All girls deserve respect even the bitchy ones.” She took his books and waited up for him.

Cas waited on the hall, Dean was on the phone maybe Sam would be there waiting for his brother, but nope, Sam wasn’t there either. Another guy, huge with blue eyes appeared. “Hey brother.” He said smiling and slapping Dean on the shoulder. “Your ride is here.” 

“Thanks Benny…” Dean was helped by the guy and Cas went to his next class.

It surprised him finding Sam on a café on his way to a different building. “Hey!” he said getting close.

Sam looked up from his phone. “Hey Cas, did you know? There’s an app that helps you find the best books of a specific topic, good bye research for bibliography.” Cas smiled fondly, so like Sam, always smart Sam getting lost in school stuff.

Dean could barely move around without help and even Castiel had to give up on his usual disgust to help him in and out of classes or carrying stuff around, Sam was too busy with school to be his pain in the ass brother full time nanny.

***

Castiel got bad news around Halloween too; Gabriel; the funny one got arrested for public disturbance, but it was his third strike and none of the others wanted to go help him:

So Cas had to leave his life on hold and travel home to get his boring brother out of jail, not enough? He had to pay for his mandatory 50 days period on a rehab center.

By winter break he was late on his tuition, back in his classes and in serious need of some money.

But he wasn’t desperate yet. At least he had his friend, and Sam was always there for him. 

Right before holiday break a special dissertation took place. He saved a place for Sam at one of the special lectures for Sociology a very important writer was there, someone Sam had been talking about for weeks, he entered the hall right when the door was been closed. He sat next to Cas. “I thought I’d be late, I literally had to push someone down to get in here on time.”

Few minutes later the whole class got quiet at the sound of an ambulance. 

“Wonder what happened…” Cas said to be shushed by Sam. Minutes later the door opened and Dean entered walking the stairs as quietly as possible with the heavy limp, he just left the crutches so he was quite noisy. The lecturer stopped and looked at him.

”Hello... yes, you. Can you tell us what is so important you got late to my conference?

Dean looked around self conscious. “I’m sorry, but an old lady fell and broke her leg, and I had to stay with her until the ambulance.” The entire hall let out a sigh. Dean sat behind Sam and Castiel.

Sam was ignoring his brother. “I bet he was taking pictures for facebook or something.” Castiel whispered and Sam chuckled before asking him to leave Dean alone.

“I’m sorry. Am I the one posting pictures of my ugly mug every two second, or quotes about how much I love a guy that had friendzoned me?” Sam shushed them. Cas felt his face in flames.

“By the way?”Dean said disturbing Sam. “Thanks a lot baby brother.” Sam huffed impatient.

“What you wanted me to do?”

Yeah, why Dean expected Sam to do everything for him?  
***

“I’m sorry…” Castiel followed the voice, it was Sam, he’d been dating a girl for a while now, and she was fuming. “I lost track of time.”

The girl turned at him face feral. “Then why Sarah saw you at the library with Emma?” 

Sam stopped looking around. “It was… it’s… it’s a lie.” the girl stopped asking him to explain himself. “It’s my mom’s death anniversary… I just.” Sam sagged, shrugged and hid his eyes. The girl gasped, and got closer.

“Was it that hard to say? I could’ve understood.”

Castiel went to talk to Sam that night he found Dean laughing like a jerk at some show while completing a project for one of his classes. “He went to see his girlfriend. You should find someone to date too.” He said and moved to the couch not even inviting Castiel in. “did this for Thermodynamics, what do you think?” 

Castiel made a face. “That’s awesome; mine is not even half done though” 

Dean rolled his eyes. “This is yours moron” it took Castiel a couple seconds before saying thank you. Then he started. “I wanted to know… did you do anything special for your mom’s death anniversary?”

Dean’s eyes darted to him and his jaw clenched. “Why? How do you know about my mom? What do you know about my mom?” Cas stammered, he knew a little, but enough about psychology to see the hurt hidden in Dean’s everyday life.

“I just heard…”

“Is this about the fight? It had nothing to do with my mom, someone was being a jerk, I had to put him in his place.” Dean got up and throwing his project to the floor. “They ganged against me, six of them.”

That was far more information than Castiel thought he’d get. “Okay…” he said and got to pick up pieces of what Dean just thrown.

“What?”

Castiel raised his eyes. “Okay… I don’t even remember my mom, you know?” he shrugged. “I only have this idea of someone that smelled like warm and flowers.” It took him a long while to look up and See Dean biting his lips as he looked away sad.

Dean sat and started putting together the pieces. “My mom… she used to sing to me, and let me lick the spoon when she made cookies, I have this image of her…” and Dean smiled, all sweet and innocent, so different from the guy Castiel knew, he licked his lips and blinked a couple times as he screwed a piece back together. “Her face all sticky with peaches filling, for pies, she always made pie for me and Sammy. And she kissed me, all sticky, we laughed… so hard…” His hand went to his face, touching absently his own cheek before reaching to get another piece.

“When… when the fire… it was Halloween, and we were supposed to bake pumpkin pie that day but something went wrong. All I could save was his recipe book… once Sammy was safe; all I could take was her book…” Maybe he wasn’t the biggest jerk after all. 

“Sometimes, I forget she left…” Dean let out candid. “I forget time has passed and I wake up wanting to hug her. But she’s gone…” turned to Cas and smiled a little. “This thing was awesome, why you let me ruin it?” 

“It’s okay…” Castiel said, Dean wasn’t such a bad person.

Something else was bothering him; why Sam said that when they were only days before Christmas?


	2. Chapter 2

***

Sam gave Castiel presents and good news. “Dean is okay with you borrowing some money until you get on your feet again.” He said smiling on their way to Christmas dinner with Dean

“Really?” Castiel felt touched, his friend Sam had convinced Dean to help him.

“Yes, and have you heard? Mrs. Mosley got hurt and they’re looking for someone to help at the library.” And smiling he added. “That way you won’t be all alone here while we visit dad.”

Cas got the job and spent his break trapped in a stuffy building surrounded by paper, but he’d get enough money to pay Sam so Dean didn’t bother him about it, plus he had all the books on his read list in hands. He even started talking to Mrs. Mosley, who told him about the nasty looking selfish prick who pushed her stairs down, and that nice boy who helped her up.

“There was a crowd of people looking and he was the only one who got close…” she said with tears in her eyes. “ I remember I threatened to smack him with a wood spoon.”

Castiel had been there when Dean got into the library around noon two days before biophysics’ deadline on thermoregulation paper. Dean was chewing gummy worms and smiling like a fool with half a bar of kitkats in his mouth.

“Get your sticky fingers out of here… boy.” He remembers because that was exactly when Dean who spent the weekend drunk or something, that slept mostly all Sunday and went out that night none the less, asked for his notes. “If you touch my books with those chocolate stained fingers I’m gonna have to smack you with a wooden spoon.” She said.

“Dean?” he said frowning. “Dean Winchester helped you?”

Castiel heard a whole hour of how perfect Dean Winchester was from her.   
Maybe the lady got fooled, because Cas knew him and Dean wasn’t that good.

***

January was freaking cold and coming back to classes Dean was independent once more and he started working out often. Castiel rolled his eyes every time he got home and found Dean working out.

It was as if he was competing with Sam, because everybody knew Sam was the fit one, he had the discipline and knew how to eat healthy and even picked a job related to that, he was teaching yoga for beginners. Why Dean thought he could compete with Sam?

Castiel laughed so hard when Dean got to the scale and with a smile; he took his shirt, he was fit, and had defined abs and lots of muscle and Damn he looked good – shut up, you can’t keep saying you think he’s hot- Cas told to himself, as Sam got there and took his shirt off too.

“This!” he said pointing to his own perfect physique making a show of himself. Let’s pretend Castiel wasn’t drooling; not ogling him just like two thirds of the gym. “This is ripped, not that flabby mess.” Castiel chuckled when Sam slapped Dean’s stomach. Some other guys laughed; that’ll show him.

It took Dean a bit to come back from that one. “Well I’m not the gym bunny, am I?” Sam laughed and went back to his weights.  
***

The second letter regarding his late tuition payment got to his apartment and Cas had not enough money, Castiel had moved out of the dorm rooms because his roommate; a sleazy guy with fake French accent and lots of drugs pretty much ran him out, it was far better than staying and being framed on drugs or something, he found a closet sized apartment with rent low enough to live up with his paycheck and partial scholarship.

“I have no idea what you can do…” Sam was going through a book, and that was the first he said in about an hour; Dean got up and took the book from his brother’s hand making Sam glare at him.

“I could get you a gig for this weekend, nothing permanent.” Dean said and after giving Sam his book he shrugged. “You’d have to talk to Chuck about something more permanent.” He looked into his eyes and chewing on his lip added. “In a good night you can make a couple hundred. Let me talk to a friend.”

Castiel smiled brightly at the idea of all that money. “That’d be awesome, doing what?”

Dean hid his eyes; he had dark circles around his eyes and was skinnier. “Does it matters? Is legal and pays well enough; let’s see what Chuck can find for you.” 

Dr. Huffman was even harsher on them than usual. Burke had given up and retired from her class, leaving only 21 of them, their papers were graded with lower scores this time, except Dean’s “Double standard on feminism: objectification and sexual harassment laws.” She said. “Interesting indeed, I was grossed out from the very beginning. And you really didn’t need to add those pictures, seriously…” Dean looked at the professor and smiled as if it were the funniest thing. “Seriously!” she said and moved ahead. Cas was so disgusted by him. 

“Samuel; Following the path: Fulfilling parent’s goals. Engrossing it was very good.” She dismissed the class that Thursday, the day Dean arranged an interview for him.

That’s why Cas ended up outside a high end club. He passed the door and saw the tall guy blue eyed and broad that helped Dean around Halloween; as he approached the door the blue irises fixed on Castiel. “New kid?” before driving him to Chuck

Chuck was a bearded tiny guy with sad eyes. “So you’re James.” Cas nodded. “Dean’s baby brother? You don’t look like…related to him.” he made a motion with his hands. “Take you shirt off.”

Castiel looked affronted. “Are you serious?”

Chuck frowned. “He didn’t tell you about the job?”

Castiel swallowed hard. “nope.” 

Chuck let out a sigh. “This place is called Babylon.” Chuck scratched his beard. “One of the few clubs that is exclusive for a certain clientele.” Chuck looked at him. “You’re here to either host, or to serve tables, we have a very specific type of waiters, and hosts, even if you won’t be wearing a shirt, you will wear a mask all the time so your identity is secret, this is a decent place, your paycheck depends on the amount of clients you get to serve, food or drinks, don’t come with any crazy idea; but if the client feels like giving you extras or tips is totally fine too.” He chuckled. “Now take off your shirt.”

Cas felt his face burning he moved to a corner and started unbuttoning his shirt. “How’s your brother? I’ve heard his ankle have finally healed, right?” Castiel nodded. “We were really worried, he’s well known around here, or was, right now we don’t know what to do without him…”

Castiel thought how odd it was that Dean could pay to party in a place like this, finally shirtless walked to him, Chuck smiled and called someone from outside the door, a lady entered. “What you think Amanda?”

The lady, smiled, her perfectly even teeth, and red lips almost too perfect to be real. Her pearl earrings gleaming as she moved her eyes over Castiel torso. “Low cut jeans, kinda baggy, as if he’ll raise his arms and it’ll fell.” And turning around him she continued. “He has the hips for it.” She moved in front of him looking at his eyes as if he were a show dog. “He needs definition though, and he has too much of a goody two shoes in him.” and licking her lips once more. “stubble…” Chuck nodded explaining Cas that he shouldn’t shave the day he was going to work.

“With those eyes and those lips… black mascara and… blue mask, glittered.” she licked her lips making Cas blush. “Do you still have that lip gloss?” Chuck laughed as he nodded. “They won’t be able to restrain themselves…”

Once the woman left Chuck told him plain and simple that Dean told him about Cas financial problems. “He even asked you to not be on … John’s shift, so you’ll get more money, you see… on those days, nobody else gets any money.” Another one smitten with Dean, he thought. “He’s so adorable and protective…” Cas raised a brow and Chuck lost his stupid smile.

“Anyway…” continued his new boss, “there’s only one rule here: My friend my brother, friend of my brother my brother, girlfriend of my brother my brother. Are we clear?” Castiel frowned. “That means no dating on the job and no messing with your workmates partners or whatever. That means you’re Dean’s baby brother, are we clear?” Castiel nodded again, why was this guy implying he would make out with Dean? 

“What you do with the clients is your own business, as long as you do it outside of here. If you break the one simple rule, you’re out.” Once more huge blue eyes blinked stunned by the fast chatting and he nodded.  
Cas had no idea where he just got into, but the paycheck for three days of work almost could cover his tuition.  
***

It was around Valentine’s Day that Sam and Castiel had to team up with a couple of girls for their ancient cultures class. At first they spoke only about their plans for their project, then the girls wanted to know more about them, Cas started talking to them, they were smart and cute, and funny, even if not subtle at all about wanting someone to go to the biggest Valentine’s day party but Sam was distracted, he was reading a book in Russian. 

Cas looked at him in adoration, always so into his classes.

After a while the girls gave up and left. “They’re nice…” commented Castiel. “We should try to go to that party.” He was gathering courage to ask Sam out as Dean teased so many times

Sam made a sound. “You need a date for that kind of parties, and there’s no ONE decent prospect for me.” And rolling his eyes he let out. “And I don’t like them.” 

“Dude, you were reading the whole time, how can you know if you don’t like them?”

Sam looked at him. “Ugh, why you even spoke to them, I read so I don’t have to talk or pretend I care about tedious stuff.” Castiel thought it was adorable how focused Sam was in his studies. “People can be so boring… I don’t have time for their trivial problems” and turning back to his book. “You should try too, you know? It helps a lot with people with annoying voices”

Castiel got up. “I’m going home, I work tonight.” Why it hurt if Sam did that to others? Maybe because he was always reading around him; since the time they met.

***

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Are you serious?” Dean gave an opinion in class about the fact that addictions were an actual problem only since psychology was accepted as a science, or like late 70’s or something. “Check your facts; you don’t even know when psychology was declared a science. Are you saying just because is not from the old days is not real?”

Dean faced Cas. “I’m saying that since they were accepted as a real thing, people self diagnoses themselves and then, they use it as excuse to be whatever piece of shit they want to be. And now people pretend we buy that?”

Castiel turned around completely while the teacher on his psychology class was huffing once more before asking them to be civil. “are you saying that depression, anxiety and eating disorders are not a real thing?”

Dean raised both hands. “I never said that, I’m just saying that people will use whatever excuse they can to do bad things. Is so easy being caught cheating and say ‘I just happen to be a sex addict ’, if psychiatry or psychology let them get away with that, then the entire field, the entire science is corrupted and looses all value.”

Castiel made a gesture but he was cut by professor Henning right there. “That’s a valid Point Winchester, but what about those who are actually ill?”  
Dean smirked. “You mean those who don’t want their problems trivialized by morons pretending to be ill for pity recognition or trend? Most of them might feel relieved to not be used as a joke.”

The doctor laughed and someone else, a young boy spoke, supporting Dean’s opinion, no wonder, he was one of the boys Dean left a party with.

Castiel was fuming the second the class was over he confronted Dean. “did you really have to be an ass to me in class?”

Dean’s eyes opened in surprise for a second. “Oh… ” Cas let out a breath he had no idea he was holding. “did you fell on your head or something?” he pushed past Castiel. “I just gave my opinion in a class that grades opinion, ” once he didn’t have Castiel in front turned to finish his sentence. “I don’t sit in class thinking ‘how can I make fun of the self centered little ass today.’”

“I have four brothers, three of them alcoholics, one of them ended up in jail around Halloween, that’s why I left that week…”

Dean turned facing him. “that’s why I never drink, that’s why I hate those guys that take advantage of girls…”

Dean rolled his eyes groaning. “Kid, don’t paint me a sob story… okay?” but he was biting his lip in the adorable remorseful way he usually did.   
“My own dad fought against it you know? After mom… after the fire… so don’t come here pretending you need special treatment because someone in your family has some trouble. ” Dan got close again. “you don’t go around crying about it, no matter if it’s alcohol, depression or whatever, you deal with it, you tough up and get back up stronger, and if someone you love is there and don’t want your help?” Castiel gasped, only Sam knew about Gabriel escaping the rehab center Cas paid for him. “Then you say good bye and you leave him be…” and taking a breath as if he were hyperventilating. “because you need to be ready to beat it, nobody can do it for you. Not even baby brother’s with good intentions.”

“You know nothing of my family, or my brothers or anything at all, just…”it hurts, when someone assume things about you, it really, really hurts. “You’re such a jerk…” Castiel said angry trying to rein the tears welling in his eyes.

“Yeah, and you went out of your way just to say that? I can hear it every time you’re at my place…” and he moved a couple steps, Castiel still getting a comeback together before he came back. “You know what? Wanna know what? I got hurt defending a friend, from a drunk imbecile, I try my best to be a decent guy, but you, you little shit…” he pointed a finger at him. “I want to like you, okay? I do, for Sammy, but every time I try, you make me want to punch you… why do I have to end up angry at you all the time huh?” he let out a deep breath and huffing marched away where the other guy was waiting for him.

Why Dean was always so hard to deal with? Why his words made so much sense? Cas face planted in bed that night trying to ignore everything, specially the voice of Dean Winchester accepting he suffered from depression.

***  
It was around Easter that he got this party called The Easter’s Only Black Pants night; it included mentioned pants, everyone shirtless and ridiculous bunny ears and bowties, some of the guys- those Amanda thought could pull it off- even had fluffy cotton tails. Castiel huffed tired, more than one client had pinched his butt and he was tired and worried about a project Dean was supposed to be working on; but instead he went missing since noon, as usual. Maybe he was working; he thought when a lady plastered herself on his front. “Is he here? Is it true? He’s back. Right?” he had to ask about that, but the answer came by itself when the lady turned at the howls and catcalling from the stage. 

Castiel saw a new guy that everyone was greeting as an old acquaintance, the guy walked on the small stage the club had as if he were Elvis, Killmister, or Brian Johnson; as if he belonged there, he started playing his guitar and the band - the Louden Swain- followed him, Chuck had one guitar too. “Look who is back in the house…” Taunted Chuck; the guy had a black mask on, he was swaying his hips and had a voice of melted caramel with just an edge of raspy drawl, Castiel bit his lips aroused, and he knew it, that’s why the guy was a star.

The second they started playing the entire place went crazy. Castiel enjoyed the music just like the rest but that was the most stressful hour in his life. It was hard to catch up with the orders but at least nobody was touching patting or rubbing him, all eyes, boys and girls, even other waiters were staring openmouthed at John.

And Cas understood why. He had a back to drool for, leading to the reason why he was one of the guys with a bunny tail, it was only calling more attention to his ass, his jeans so tight it was obscene, but it was worthy.

As soon as the band took a break and the guy started working the bar many clients reached over the bar to try to pat him or grab him, just to be pushed back by a bouncer, the sign over the bar made him chuckle “untouchable” he read while more people were crowding around. People that tend to be composed and cool were calling for his attention: “John!! John!!”They were offering fifty or hundred dollar bills for one smile and one second of his time.

Cas understood why too, the guy was ripped and even hidden under the mask long lashes fanned his cheeks, bottle green eyes looked around, as if he were out of place, looking around with an innocence that called to be ruined, pale creamy skin and freckles, on his cheeks, on his neck, over his shoulders, arms, everywhere. 

Someone pushed Cas stopping him from waxing poetics over those arms, a couple songs dancing in his head already, he had a job he had to try at least- even in this crazy place- to do it properly, Cas got to the bar to place his orders. “Hey!” the guy just nodded at him. “Give me two cosmos, three buds, and a long Shot for 16th.”

Castiel hated those glasses, a long shot was half an ounce of tequila inside a 10 inches essay tube-like glass of beer, popular among frat boys and bachelor and bachelorettes parties. The guy licked his lips as he placed the mentioned drinks on Cas’ tray. “Be careful; Groups get handsy.” He heard someone said at his side. 

The guy pouring the drinks looked at him for a sec, biting his lips, damn… was that lip gloss? No man should have lips that sexy; he was still staring stupidly at his lips when the guy let out a sigh turning to the back where one of the bouncers was standing by the register, he whistled calling the attention of the guy and pointed with his head to Cas. The giant guy nodded and Cas felt the guy’s eyes on him at all times.

He got grabbed by two sets of hands and one guy specifically moved in his space rubbing against his front with the excuse of asking for another drink, he tried to dislodge him but it was useless the other pair of hands had him in place, the stranger’s hand roamed the front of his jeans.

His new friend; the bouncer; a guy as tall as Sam, was at his side. “Hands off, you’re only paying for the drink.” Growled darkly and the guy gulped before adding a 20 to Castiel’s waistband.

“I was just thanking him properly…” Castiel finally moved away and for once wasn’t slapped on his way back to the bar; he thanked Joe the Bouncer and John at the bar. But it was a very good night, by the time he checked his pockets he had 2000 in one night.

“When John is here… it’s always crazy, he’s like…” another waiter, Brock; pointed the bartender and made a frustrated sound “but then… he’s nice and quiet and polite if he ever talk to you…” and chuckling as he counted a wad of crumpled bills. “He left for almost three months, and now he’s fighting to get back at the top of his game.

Castiel liked the guy already, whoever John was, and he was salivating at the idea of the guy in even better shape.

“I don’t like him.” a tall guy took off his mask. “He’s always taking girls home…”

“You blame them?” someone shouted and they laughed.

“You blame him?” someone else let out and everyone laughed again.  
Brock turned. “You know him?” several guys were looking at him as if he just said earth was flat.

The guy made a sound. “He’s some kind of fucking prince charming.” And while wiping his face with wet wipes to clean the makeup. “Some of my frat bros think he’s ruining the fun.” The guy just took off his pants and naked as a baby walked to the shower. “And I can’t even hate him.”  
Cas smiled. Why would you want to hate him?  
***

Something changed, Castiel saw few things differently, Sam was still as perfect as usual, always helping others and focused in his studies, they still hang out all the time and study together, but he acts as if he didn’t want to know about Castiel’s job, it was okay, he didn’t really want Sam to see him shirtless and in makeup. 

He liked Sam, but Cas felt like drawn to Dean for no good reason, Sam’s brother had him worried, he was eating next to nothing on Wednesdays and Thursdays, he went missing on weekends and Castiel saw him binge eating on Mondays.

“What’s wrong with him?” he asked calling Sam attention.  
Sam looked and rolled his eyes. “Not sure… leave him alone he’ll bounce back in no time.”

“he’s your brother.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “If you’re so worried ask him, I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Cas couldn’t let it go, not when he heard gossip around that Dean looked tired and stressed, that he disappeared for days and that he failed a paper on one of his classes, some girls and guys promising to take care of him if he let them.

“What’s wrong with you?” he said blunt before anyone else could try to do it ignoring the flash of jealousy at the idea of someone else doing this.

Dean let out a sigh. “Leave me alone… ”

“You look like shit.”

“You look like an uptight jackass but I’m not pointing it to you now, do I?”

Castiel pursed his lips. “I’m trying to tell I’m worried for you… can you be less a bitch about it?”

Dean closed his eyes. “I’m fine.” He sat straight but couldn’t suppress a yawn. “Just… ”

Sam dropped his bag next to dean. “Dean I just found Mr. Reid…”

“I know!!” Dean said exasperated and Castiel huffed. “I’ll give you money for rent tomorrow…” Castiel let them discuss in private. “Is not only my place you know? You could help.” He heard after a couple angry whispers.

“You’re the one who wanted to go out of campus, you didn’t even have to come with me.” Sam laughed. “Besides, I’m saving for my own car, and I have to buy six more books for Lit and then there’s Gen’s and Emma’s birthdays and I have to buy presents, that’s not cheap you know?”

Professor Manns asked them to be quiet. Castiel faced Sam frowning. “What?” he said when Professor Manns asked a question to Castiel and he turned away to answer.

At the end of the class, Castiel faced Sam. He was still hot, but something had changed. He didn’t see the man who had to tolerate an older brother who slept around and was a slacker, neither someone who had to humor him about everything and even clean after him.

Dean was apparently nice and very kind, and whatever he does he must be good, because he could support his baby brother and himself through college. But at what cost? He was yawning again.

“So…” Sam got up taking his books, “you coming home for dinner?” it was like he tried to placate Castiel for whatever offense he had thrown, as if he were a fizzy boyfriend.

Castiel looked at him and then to Dean. “Sure guys if you’ll have Me.” it was his chance.

Dean nodded. “Sure limpet, as long as you don’t care for takeout... I’m dead and I‘m the only one that cooks.” Dean was already walking ahead to avoid the bitching Sam was preparing at the idea of him cooking.

“Actually…” Castiel wanted to do this for days; he had now the chance to thank his friends. “I’ll be there by 7 sharp with the food, okay?”

Dean snorted. “You’ll get the food?” he faced Cas worried. “You know those jokes… I don’t really…”

Castiel was blushing and was sure he’d sound like a dork when he said it. “Yeah, I know, it’s just… the job… the job you… I never… ”

Dean was moving already. “Oh Gosh, don’t choke on that you don’t have to thank me.”

Cas let out a quiet. “But I want to.” That made Sam look at him funny.   
“Let’s go, you can buy pecan pie, that’ll be enough thanks…” Sam said and held Castiel’s hand all the way to the door.

At 7 pm he got to the brothers’ house, it was Tuesday and he got Chinese food for everyone, and the three of them ate while chatting about school and books and everything.  
***

Castiel had to find time to work out, he learnt that the best he looked the more he made as a waiter slash eye candy. His schedule was a mess with classes, working on the library, working at night, and studying and he started to respect Dean a lot more.

One night he was thinking about how Dean accepted he didn’t read the material for class and how Professor Morgan made him stay after class. It was a quiet night, one of those when John wasn’t there, but the clientele was especially sleazy. He was groped by a guy who put a ten on his back pocket and he had to resist the urge to punch him in the face.

“I swear I’ll never in my life disrespect a lady again…”Brock mumbled taking a bill out of the front of his underwear. “I should burn this bill just out of principle.”

Someone chuckled. “Worst yet… they’re coming back next Friday…” everyone groaned. “On John’s night, I heard the entire fraternity is coming.” Cas heard whimpers and groans a few veiled curses.

That guy was like a legend, he had started working like a year ago, just at the start of summer and he had something that made everyone fall inlove with him, even few of the guys, like Matt and Gil, they starting to slobber and grin like idiots at the mention of him. 

“Is that bad?” Castiel was there only six days a month and Chuck saved him from the more rowdy nights.

It was Gil who answered that, getting up in only skin tight black boxers. “His nights are the worst nights, everyone is fucking horny and since he has a quite specific not touching policy unless he personally allows it, this place becomes a petting zoo.”

The ruckus in the locker room made Castiel laugh, it was weird. Apparently the not touching policy came around Halloween when Mary, one of the female waitresses were grabbed by a group and the bouncers couldn’t get to her, John leaped over the counter and punched the guy in the face, he was jumped outside the bar thought, and he got really hurt, that’s why he was coming back after so long.  
***

Cas was tired but not as tired as Dean, he saw Dean falling asleep in philosophy and Dr. Huffman woke him up by asking questions about what she was explaining, thanks God he could recover fast. His answer almost made sense, then fall asleep between classes, he just sat on a bench looking at his books and his eyes closed. Castiel sat at his side. “You okay Dean.”  
Dean woke up startled and seeing him let out a sigh. “Since when are you worried for the good for nothing brother of your crush?”

Castiel stammered a little. “Since he looks like something my cat scratched out of a tomb.”

Dean’s laughter was good, rich, and honest, you can’t stop yourself, you have to laugh with him; his laughter was that good. “Okay… okay… work is hard for me, since my…” he made a motion towards his leg. “It’s hard now, I have to work out every day and I’m working almost every day, I’m off only six nights a month, it’s taking its toll on me.”

“You should go home then…” What he just said? But it was true he wanted to say thank you even if Dean didn’t want to hear it. “Go, get some sleep, I’ll go later, and I’ll try to tape the lectures for you.” He motioned for his computer. It was against school policy but he was willing to take the risk. “I haven’t done anything rebellious yet.”

Dean smiled and closed his eyes as he throwed his head back, Castiel gulped the “want” that appeared from nowhere. “Thank you!” he said and got up, moved to kiss Castiel’s hair loudly and left.

Cas smiled as his friend left and went to class, he settled his laptop and recorded what he could.

It was Sam who opened the door and smiled surprised at Castiel. “HEY!” and letting him in. “didn’t know you’ll come.”

Castiel smiled. “I just brought something for Dean.” he said showing Sam his notes.

“He just got up.” Sam frowned. “Why are you so nice with him?” 

Cas didn’t know what to say. “He found me a job that actually pays enough to keep me in college.” That sounded wrong. “I found out he’s not a jerk” sounded even worst.

“it’s just… weird, you being nice to him.”

“Why Sammy?” Dean was there, a towel on his shoulders while he rubbed his hair dry. “Think your were-not-dating-but-we’re-something might want something else?” and to Castiel. “Come on in, there’s fresh mac’n cheese.”

Cas sat between Dean and Sam at the island as they ate. It was absurdly quiet, as if for once they had nothing to say, and actually Cas had a million things to say to Dean; he was just surprised nothing seemed interesting or important.

Sam got up. “anyone wants a beer?” Dean asked for one, and turned to face Castiel as if reading him 

“How was your day?” asked Dean smiling to Cas. 

Castiel wanted to say something funny, something interesting, something that will make Dean laugh, something to stop him from analyzing his need for Dean’s laughter. “Kripke lost it!” came out in one burst. 

Dean laughed with his mouth full of half chewed food. And it wasn’t irritating, I mean, it was, it’s bad manners and he’s old enough to know better, but it was so genuine, as if he were comfortable; Cas stared in wonder, why?

“About What?” Sam asked as he sipped from his glass to hide his own laughter.

Castiel started telling them how this frat guy couldn’t even finish two of six problems in class. “Oh I know which one, blond, built like a house, wears sunglasses?” Dean added and Cas nodded. “You should see him he’s a douche.” Dean commented for his brother. Cas continued with his story because apparently when the professor asked the guy what was the problem he answered. “I don’t know, my girlfriend does my homework and she never mentioned maths… I want to be an engineer, not a mathematician.”

Sam laughter open and polite was nice, the way he stretched his neck back as if he were a model on photoshoot was nice, he looked like what Cas and everyone would’ve ever want all the time. Dean’s was better thought, as if he really was laughing, all fun and clumsy joy, as if savoring the joke bit by bit. Face crumpled, crinkles around his eyes and sunlight on his lips.

Why things weren’t like this from the beginning? Why he always thought Dean was obnoxious? He thought while picking his fork; Cas turned to find Dean looking at him with a strange look. “What?”

Dean smiled. “Nothing, I’m… it’s… you’re my brother’s friend.”

Sam made a sound on his glass. “And yours” and to Cas. “Right Cas?”

“Right…“he said smiling to his food. 

He was still thinking about that, every time he had a couple minutes alone.

Like at work, the next night, Friday night, Castiel took his 15 minutes break, John was there, and everything was crazy. He was breathing deep, eyes closed, silence finally letting him relax even if for a bit. Louden Swain was on stage so he won’t be needed for a little longer.

The door opened and someone gasped, it was John. ”Hey…” Cas said smiling and closing his eyes again. He felt stupidly self conscious like this, half naked and in makeup. “Tell me is not 15 minutes yet.” The guy only made a noise and Castiel moaned making him giggle. Honest to God a giggle so cute Castiel smiled back. “Have to go back.” He let out to fill the silence. “I hate the job, but love the paycheck…” Castiel said something he heard Dean say more than once when getting home. “Why was he thinking about Dean now?”

He opened the door after smiling at John but a hand stopped him, he felt how the guy pulled him against his chest before pushing them both against the door and kiss him. 

The thud of the door registered distantly to Cas, among the catcalls and the noises from inside.

When John pulled himself away from Cas, the guy gasped and run inside while James Castiel Novak had to stay there trying to remember who he was and what planet he lived in.


	3. Chapter 3

***   
Sam sat at Dean’s bed the next morning. “Sammy… go away…” but he didn’t move.

“You’re helping him…?”

Dean groaned and hid under the covers. “No, I’m not doing anything, now go away…”

Sam let out a sigh. “Dee…”

“Sam!”

But the younger one kept going at it. “You have to do the right thing.”

Dean didn’t emerge from under his pillow not even when the smell of coffee was obvious and enticing. “His project is done, and I helped him with a job, what else you want?”

“Just leave him alone…”

“Why? What did I do?” Sam didn’t answer. “See? NOTHING! You want him for yourself, do something, but don’t pretend it has anything to do with me.”

Sam let out a sigh. “It’s just…” he moved closer to his older brother. “Cas… sounds a lot like.”

“Shut up.” Dean mumbled from his place. “Be a man and ask him out without looking for excuses.” He mumbled something then. “This has nothing to do with….” And after a long pause in which Sam feared his brother was not breathing. “With that…” 

Sam snorted. “You can’t even say her name.”

“Oh.” A head rose for a couple second. “Say it for me then, come on…” Sam couldn’t say it either.

The curse Dean let out as he pulled his blankets would have been funny, the way Sam skidded over said covers and spilled hot coffee on his stomach would’ve been fun. The heartbreak didn’t agree.  
***

Castiel got to classes feeling giddy for some weird reason, it was Monday and everyone is cranky on Monday, right? Not Cas, he was smiling still feeling a tingle on his lips, he even forgot to greet Sam, his friend frowned when he didn’t saw an empty chair at Castiel’s side, he’d kept him a place by his side every day for as long as they knew each other.

“You okay?” 

Castiel blushed a little without noticing there was no empty chair for him and nodded. Sam had to sit behind him but Castiel only noticed when he turned to his left and saw a girl.

He waited for Sam after the lecture was over and said he was sorry. “I just… I… got distracted.”

Sam looked at him for a couple seconds. “Come on, I’ll buy you coffee.” He said leading Castiel by the wrist.

He was at Sam’s that afternoon, they were supposed to be studying, but he was mostly drowsily looking at the same page for the hours to pass, and Sam was highlighting part of his notes.

Dean emerged from is bedroom. “Tell me there’s still some coffee…” he mumbled something else.

Castiel perked up because it was the first time he saw Dean shirtless and wow. He got fit after all.

Sam perked up too seeing Castiel. “Yes, there’s some...” Dean made an aborted motion to get back in his room, to get something to wear when Cas finally could tear his eyes away to notice Sam looking at him and felt his cheeks aflame. 

“I was planning on going to buy something to eat…” Sam got up and took the car keys from the table and showing them to his brother before turning to Cas. “You’re coming, right?

Castiel had his mouth gapping and looked stupidly at Sam before replying that yes, he was going with him.

Sam bit his lips and looked at Cas as if he knew something Castiel shouldn’t know. Was this because of Dean? 

It took them less than ten minutes, by the time they were back Dean had one of his usual rock bands t shirts on, he had his books splayed across the entire table and was reading a book over his knee, a pen trapped between his fleshy lips. Castiel let out a sound and Dean looked up.

Cas blinked and moved embarrassed, Sam was looking at him frowning and worried. “Move, this thing is hot.” Mumbled Cas, trying to cover everything with a supposed burn, to get everything on the counter.

Sam walked with him that night, Castiel felt butterflies in his stomach, it was the first time Sam decided to go with him, after all during dinner; the time Sam and he could talk about anything not school related, Dean wanted to discuss how it’ll be plausible for Cas to suck at lab but work perfectly at home.

“I wanted to ask you something.” Sam started as they walked closer to Cas’ apartment. “What you think about my brother?”

Castiel looked at him blinking, thinking he missed something there. “About Dean?” Sam nodded. “I just… I think I misjudged him, he’s not the ass I thought he was.” He felt weird; all bothered, as if something else was trapped inside of his trying to climb out.

Sam held his hand. “I wish… you …” Sam looked at his feet. “Just… just don’t do anything you’ll regret, okay?”

Cas scoffed. “With Dean? ” and chuckling like fearing Sam lost his mind. “We just started getting along well enough to be in the same room without being at each other’s throats.” 

Sam looked at Castiel as if he wanted to say something else. Does this means… Does this means Sam just realized what he felt for Cas?

Cas slept happy that night, for a while different reason, in his dream the kiss John gave him came from Sam, it was Sam who pushed him against a wall trapped him with the weight of his body and kissed him stupid.  
***

The locker room changed after the event, apparently someone saw them and told around, the guys were quiet and Gil stopped being nice, everyone stopped talking when he got there, and in special nights; John nights, he winked at him from the bar, even if the event, as in the kiss in case you’re like Cas and rather ignore that little word, didn’t repeated itself in months.

Cas didn’t have time to duel on it, as much as he’d like to, he couldn’t be bothered for that, finals were coming and he was going insane. At least he had Sam and Dean to help him study.

He was avoiding yet another night of awkward silence in the locker room when he was called to Chuck’s office. “With Summer coming, and John leaving, I was wondering if you’d like a five nights a week thing.”

Cas couldn’t believe it. Just making half the money he made every night he’d have enough to cover his tuition and even get to save something for a better apartment. Even if he had to work all summer. So of course he said yes.

He was smiling like a fool on his way to change and go home when someone pushed him aside, still mask, and makeup on John groaned as he had Cas pinned against the wall and kissed him. 

Cas let out a whimper. “I’m Castiel, by the way…” he said as the guy licked and sucked on his neck pushing his hips against him with a simple uh-huh, Castiel moaned and the groan he had as response did something to him. “You’re…?” he asked, rolled his eyes and did his best; he wanted to know, after all his name here was Dmitri. He wanted to know how John’s voice sounded saying his name.

“…In love with you.” The guy whispered against his ear, and Castiel couldn’t be bothered with words anymore. After a good five minutes of kisses, bites and rutting, Castiel held him by the hips pressing him against his body.

He doesn’t know why but suddenly green eyes were fix on him and the guy just let out a sigh and left. “Wait… wait! Don’t you want to go to my place and have crazy wild sex with me?” that’s what he should’ve said, instead a gurgle came out of him and the next thing he knew he was all alone and there was light outside already.

The smell, the smell all over him, something that reminds him of comfort and peache pie, he wish he didn’t have to shower but he had lip gloss all over his neck and shirt, and was not his, Amanda gave him a different shade, it looks like...

And it hit him, he’s seen this before. Dean… 

He felt betrayed.

***  
Dean got home early morning to find Sam ready to go out to run. 

“Morning Sammy…” he winked at his baby brother as he tossed his keys on the bowl.

Sam looked at him surprised. “You’re just coming home?” 

“Work…” a shrug was all the explanation he had as he cleaned black stains from his face and hands.

Sam smiled back. “Look at you; for once you’re smiling… and you have …” Sam made a face. “Please tell me it’s a girl’s lip gloss.”

Dean smirk was both endearing and disgusting. “Nope, and I don’t mind at all.”

Sam frowned; long ago he’d been happy for his brother, but now? “Just tell me you didn’t do anything stupid.” Dean turned at him with a stupid goofy shit eating smile.

Dean kept smiling even after he showered and while he made himself something to eat, and while finishing his final paper for mechanics and then, while he went to bed humming some stupid sappy song around noon shouting something about not wanting anything to eat.

Sam feared this was going to end badly.

***  
Finals were hell, Castiel got out of the classroom of his last exam and hyperventilated, he was tired, and felt miserable, he was sure he’d failed, Kripke looked disappointed when he read Castiel’s answers, without an at least decent score he’d fail and he’d lose his partial scholarship; and his life will be ruined. The crowd of people died down, people were laughing and having fun , nobody paid attention to him, he had his head on his hands and was breathing hard, not getting enough air, his eyes were getting dark, and his body was getting numb.

“Hey!” someone smacked him in the knee, not hard, just enough to call his attention, it was Dean. “Get up looser; you’ve been there for almost an hour now.” He pulled his friend up with one hand. “Let’s get a grease filled burger… we both deserve one.” Castiel let him push him through the door and into the diner outside of campus, Dean chatted animatedly while they ate , after that Dean was looking at him funny. 

Cas hardly remember anything aside of Dean opening the passenger’s door of his car and then his singing voice, it made him remember of something, glitter and alcohol; something like a party, he just couldn’t remember why.

Cas didn’t even remember when he fell asleep until he woke up on Dean and Sam’s couch.

“If I’d known you were this tired I would let Dean take you to his room.” 

Sam was looking at him with a sweet smile on his face. Damn; Castiel thought, I’m dreaming with Sam again, but this Sam chuckled instead of kissing him, so this one was real and just heard him. “Don’t worry… I kinda...” Sam chuckled. 

“What time it is?”Castiel stifled a yawn and sat.

Sam moved towards the kitchen. “Almost 6 pm, Dean told me you had to work?”

Cas, rubbed his face and let out a tired sigh, “Yeah…” 

Sam kept walking. “Hurry then, you haven’t had dinner yet.”

As they were eating Castiel couldn’t help the question. “Sam…” his friend turned the question written on his face. “Does your brother… I mean is Dean…?” he doubted and finally said he was sorry and turned to his food.

“Ask away Cas, we’re friends… you can ask me anything.”

Castiel licked his lips; they were chapped, stupid lip gloss he thought, before letting the words fall off. “Is your brother seeing someone?”  
Sam stopped chewing and looked at him. “Seeing like… seeing as in dating?” Castiel nodded.

Sam Winchester is not perfect, he knows that and he can be very self centered and thinks that the sun turns around his navel but he’s not a bad person, after all Dean raised him and as much as he wants to pretend his dad too, and John Winchester is a damn good person, just not perfect, just like Sam. “Castiel… I don’t think that you and my brother would work…”

Castiel felt stupid. “I… I kinda… I’m not asking because of him…” yeah it was true, he was asking because of John, right? “I just…”

Sam let out a sigh as he tucked his hair behind his ear. “Cas, my brother… whoever he’s with… he’ll hurt them.”

Castiel felt angry, why was Sam saying that about Dean? “What? Okay… why you think something so vile about your brother.” He stood up. “Seriously?   
You think that the one guy who helped me when we only could fight is that bad? when I was nobody to him?”

Sam let out a breath. “I know him, and I don’t want you or anyone else to get hurt.” And after a beat, “or hurt him”

“He’s your brother! If he needs someone on his side it should be you there, not giving others warnings about loving him!” 

Sam got up. “I know… I know… but I-I.. Cas you…” Sam looked away for one second huffing a breath as he does always he’s coming with a lie, Cas knows him just too well.

He licked his lips standing closer to Castiel. “He’s my brother, and I love him, and I want to protect him, but… but. I also don’t want to lose you” without warning Sam kissed Castiel, Cas was shocked.

Castiel pushed him and without thinking punched him in the face. Sam bent down groaning in pain. “So... this is the only way you found to keep me away from your brother?” Sam got up and looked at him, blood pouring from his lip. “Six months ago you might have fooled me.”

“Cas… this is not about Dean…”

“I ignored many things Sam, many things, you’re a terrible person.” 

Castiel stood in place trying to organize his ideas before punching Sam again. “Want to know the worst part? It wasn’t’ about your brother, It was never about your brother… but he deserves someone to love him, someone that sees him as the amazing person he is, the amazing guy I know he is, because if he were the jerk I thought he was there won’t be essays in creative writing just to describe how sweet he is, or being helped by half the campus of guys and girls when he was hurt.” he added after a beat.   
“While you were boning Gen, by the way, instead of helping your brother”

“Yeah… yeah…” Sam was pissed. “I know he’s fucking perfect, but he’s my brother and I’ll protect him!!”

“Protect him against what?” Castiel shouted even louder, “against happiness?”

“From whoever that could hurt him.” Sam let out without emotion. “He’s been there before, and I won’t let anyone else hurt him.” Castiel’s heart broke a little at that, stupid Winchesters and their protectiveness. “No matter what…”

“Protecting him from me… ” Castiel bit his lips. “just my luck…” part of him wanted to hear that it was jealousy, that Sam wanted Cas for himself, part of him wanted to be wanted, part of him felt the sting of Sam words: ‘you’re not good enough for my brother’, ‘I’ll sacrifice myself to keep him away from you’.

"Hey, wait…” Sam moved to him. “I didn’t do it to hurt you… I really care for you, you know that, right? As much as I care for my brother, but please don’t mess things up… he is happier, and even … you know…” he moved is shoulders to show the usually tired slumped posture Dean carried; Cas understood in one sec, Dean was walking tall, was smiling more and he didn’t even look that much tired. “I don’t want to lose you, seriously, you’re… important to me, but I don’t want the ghost that came with me last year.”

Castiel smiled and started walking out. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt him.” part of him, the romantic stupid naïve side of him wanted to believe that this kiss meant more, that it left him feeling as giddy and hopeful as John’s kisses, Why does it feels wrong? Why Sam thought he’d hurt Dean?  
Why does it hurt to think Dean would be bad for him?   
***

Castiel worked that night, and even if at first John nights were crazy and very good for their pockets, the more people saw him the less they cared for the other boys, tips starting lowering, but also the touches so it was a good thing.

He took his break when things were slow after they sang and John had already sent more than one guy out. By then most people were ready to go home with someone else and the untouchable hottie was once more alone.

Castiel was on his alley, standing against the wall when he heard the steps. It was John looking for him; he licked his lips on the dim lit alley getting closer in a hurry, lips parting in a smile, and eyes just a flash of green. 

Before Castiel got to say anything the guy was at him, sucking on his lips, caressing him, and Cas almost wished he could kiss him without guilt, without thinking on Dean; his hands roamed the guy’s back and down to the back pockets of his jeans, where he caught something; a keychain. 

He looked at his hand while John took a breath and saw it. “I… I wanted to tell…” John whispered. “I was afraid of…” Cas shook the keychain in front of his face.

Castiel felt sad at the sight of it, it was the distinctive key chain.   
“Dean Winchester…” John stopped let out a gruff and went back with a muttered apology. So it was true.

Cas didn’t hear of Dean from that day on, John’s last shifts nights were cancelled and the one day he picked up his check wasn’t one of Castiel nights so he only heard of the hot as hell tall guy in plaid that picked him up, and how they put out a show shouting on the alley. 

Few days later Sam went to the library to say good bye as he was doing inventory, the club gave him enough money but this job was to save his partial scholarship, and he’d save in books, he had no reason to let it go.

“I came to say good bye…” Sam said sitting next to Castiel and his pile of books, “and to say I’m Sorry.”

Castiel didn’t’ looked at him. “Okay, good bye.”

“Dean says good bye too… ” Castiel left his computer down and looked at him. 

“really?”

Sam looked down apologetic. “No, actually; he’s acting weird, as if nothing matters anymore; he even left his job two weeks earlier.”

“We’re leaving, I’ll be back in a month; I’ll try to catch some summer classes…”

“Good for you” was what left his mouth, but he wasn’t even angry, not anymore. Castiel smiled. “Always thinking about books huh?” Sam chuckled. 

“Besides; going back home with my dad for three whole months? That’s a torture only Dean is looking forward to.”

“Really? Your father worries about you and all he gets is five measly weeks?” 

Sam looked guilty. “Actually two, but that’s a lot for us, and you know it.”

Castiel laughed before facing Sam. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. For the…” he pointed at his own lip looking at his friend; Sam’s lip was still sore and bruised.

“yeah… it was my fault, but I do not regret it…” Sam bit his lip smiling and looking away.

“The kiss?” Sam nodded. “Fuck…” Cas let out.

Sam chuckled. “Yeah… fuck.” Rolled his eyes and got his backpack. “See you in five weeks Castiel.”

“See you in five weeks Samuel.” His friend bent down a little and kissed him, not the romantic Kiss he expected at the beginning of semester, not the traitorous kiss he had the first time, it was almost the best he had, it almost made him forget about John… that good was Sam kissing.  
Yet Cas resented Dean not saying good bye so much more.  
***

The silence in the locker room at Babylon’s finally changed, one of the guys. Gadreel, the one who saw the kiss pushed Cas against the lockers on his way to the shower. “Hey!!”

“Hey what?” he said, taller and broader than Castiel, “are you gonna tell your boyfriend?”

Some of the guys turned at them Castiel felt the eyes on him. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Gil and Matt got close. “That’s not what John and the guy who came for him said.”

Castiel huffed. “Of course, and whatever I had to say wasn’t important when you had gossip.”

“I saw you two kissing.” Gadreel said. “My girlfriend got fired because Chuck heard of us, only heard, without any evidence; but since it’s the untouchable ass and his friend’s brother, everything is all right!” he said ironic. “And this two didn’t let me tell Chuck!”  
Gil got in front. “It’s not our business.”

Brock stood behind Gil. “and the reason why they fired Ruth is because she was a bitch.”

“You just didn’t want to stop seeing him.” someone said out loud. Cas, got dressed and ran out to get his makeup done.

He sat on the chair as the girl who works there started applying it, a guy sat next to him. “Hey, you’re one of the naked ones right?” Castiel faced him stunned. “Sorry…” the guy smiled. “I’m Jason; I’ll be covering for whoever the last singer of the Swains was.”

Cas went out and heard Jason sing, he was good, maybe better than John, that’s when he noticed John wasn’t there, and he was supposed to be there that night, the last five days of Untouchable John. But he left early.  
***

Sam knocked on the door of his brother’s room. “Dean, we’re ready to go.”  
John passed behind Sam. “He left already Sammy, said something about wanting to visit mom before going back to school.”

After only a two weeks one of them spent visiting uncle Bobby for a late 4th of July plus early Sam birthday celebration, and the second on a hunting trip Sam wanted to go back, maybe work and then find at least a couple classes.

Dean was depressed again; it wasn’t as bad as it used to be, but it was there non the less.

Sam felt bad, he did; he felt terrible as he followed his brother. Once out of the cemetery he went south, to see someone else.

Dean sat on a park looking into the building with the name of a news paper on top. Sam knew she was working there, everyone knew she’d be there for the entire summer, he’d read a dozen warnings on messages and emails from every concerned friend and acquaintance, apparently someone sent Dean one of those too.

“Are you going to come out?” Sam gasped and moved ahead. “You’ve always sucked at that.” Dean half chuckled. “I heard your phone from here,” finished Dean not even looking at him.

Sam smiled. “Stealth and guns were your thing.” Hi fumbled with the phone in his pocket not even checking who was calling.

Dean smiled. “Whining and knives were yours, but I still think you suck at it.” Sam laughed. “I’m fine Sammy…”

“I know that.” Sam let out but he bit his lip, maybe Dean didn’t buy his lie.

“I just had to be sure…” Confessed Dean.

“Sure of what?” Sam turned to look at the building too, he wanted to go there, wanted to talk to her just as much as Dean.

“That I’ve moved on…” his brother said softly. 

“So…?”

Dean snorted. “Not sure… but that’s an improvement.” He said winking at his brother, Sam saw her at the window on the second floor the second Dean got up; she watched him as instead of going for her he moved back to his car and drove away.

“I finally did something about Cas.” Sam spluttered while they were fishing that afternoon.

Dad looked at him funny, Dean… he only swallowed hard and nodded with a weird smile on his face. “Friend of my brother my brother…” said with a shrug. “about time Sammy.”

Dad thought it was weird, and Sam thought it was a relief. Dean thought it was only his luck. The heartbreak only twirled his thumbs almost ready to leave.

Just like the boys going back to school the next day.  
***

Castiel was done with his life after only two weeks; Chuck told him not subtly at all that he’d not be working during John nights, and “If rumors were true” he won’t be working period.

Mrs. Mosley made him re-code the entire history of art section and he found stains that were in no way caused by humidity, or pests, or food, or anything other than… he didn’t even want to think about what couples do around history of art.

His apartment had no AC, so every night was hell, his fridge was ruined so he had to buy food for the day, at one point he gave up he used the library phone and called Sam, but he didn’t answer; the guy had kissed him twice, and texted him now and then about how he missed him and their stuff but no matter how many times Cas called he never answered, not even his messages.

That late night –or early morning if you prefer- as he left the only decent place open when he was off work carrying dinner for one, he got mugged. Cas ended up carried on an ambulance to ER and checked in for observation, he noticed he had nobody, noone would mind if he died or not. Nobody to call and reassure he was okay, nobody that’ll care.

Once he was left for the night at his bed, after he got stitches, X rays and some kind of drug, he called Sam again, yet he didn’t answer, so he dialed Dean; his last resource.

“What…” mumbled a sleepy Dean, of course he’s always sleeping.

“Hi…” Castiel let out not sure anymore why he called. It made so much more sense in his head.

“Cas? Is it you? Are you okay?”

Castiel felt tears in his eyes. “I… I’m at the hospital, university hospital…?”

He heard the fumbling of fabric. “What happened? Are you okay? Do you need something? Do you need me there?” And right after that he shouted on Castiel’s ear. “Sam! Wake the fuck up Cas is hurt!!”

Castiel chuckled even if more tears fell from his eyes. “I-I…” he chuckled and did his best not to sob. Scrunching his lips and looking down. “I just needed to hear a friendly voice…”

Dean lowered his voice. “We’re on our way Limpet, just stopped for the night… ” Silence fell between them while someone grumbled behind Dean, Sam, Cas thought. “What happened?”

Cas let out a quiet sob and hiccupped against his will. “I was coming home after work and I got mugged…”

“I’m gonna kill Chuck!” Cas let out a sound half relieved laughter, half desperate sob. 

“Yeah... that might help, he’s forcing me to work a lot…” a chuckle left his mouth and he felt a little better just having someone who understood.

“But are you okay?” the concern made Castiel feel better, even if nothing actually changed. “Please tell me you are okay… I’m getting worried here…” and under his breath. “Come talk to him, you said you were…” the last word missing to Castiel drowned by the groan and the negative on Sam’s voice.

“Dean?” where that came from? “If you don’t mind… I’m-I rather to talk to you for a while…”

So Dean described for no good reason every step of how to clean and load a Winchester rifle. “You do know that has nothing to do with our last name right?” Castiel let out a small laugh, and then told him about his awesome uncle bobby, who made the best roasted chicken. “My dad made his own sausages following God knows what kind of cooking channel recipe, it was hilarious.” Castiel chuckled again, Dean knew how to make things good again with no effort at all.

It was almost an hour later when Dean once more changed subjects. “…and this motel room? I swear after these trips… I feel like I’ve lived my entire life in these places. It’s disgusting, I can’t wait to get home, in my memory foam mattress and have a really good night of sleep.”

Castiel only made a noise of agreement. “Cas? You’re coming with us, there’s not much room but we can manage… you can share with Sammy, I don’t mind, if you’re an item now…”

Castiel heard that but the soothing sweet voice, it was like melted caramel with just an edge of raspy drawl, Castiel tried to stay awake, tried, but sleep pulled him harder and he dreamed of kisses like Sam’s and Dean’s voice telling him he was in love with him. 

Damn even his dreams were torturing him.  
***

“Glad you’re fine.” Sam hugged Castiel, and Cas smiled back. 

“Thank you.” He said a little slurred because of the stitches on his lips, still trying not to smile so the stitches won’t pull. His fingers flew to the bandage on his cheek. “How’s your dad?” he said looking over his shoulder.

“He-he’s fine…”Sam frowned. “Are you waiting for someone else?”

Castiel’s face changed, the smile came from somewhere deep inside of him. Dean entered leading a doctor.

“Thanks God…” Dean only half smiled and moved to hug him lifting him up from the bed. 

Castiel let out a giggle. “You’re smoldering me…” stitched be damned he couldn’t stop his smile this time

Dean mumbled an ‘I don’t care’ before letting him go. “Look at you…” he said smiling. “You almost look like a man.” He teased touching the bandage on his face, Cas rolled his eyes and smiled again even if it hurt a little.

Sam was quiet and frowning when the doctor explained that everything was alright, but since Cas had a mild concussion he should be monitored another day before going home. and he’d have to stick to a liquid diet for a week or so for is bruised jaw and stitches on his lips “Don’t worry Doc, I’ll be taking care of him now.” Sam huffed. “WE..!” corrected Dean. “Will make sure he rests.”

The doctor smiled and left. “So…” Sam sat next to Castiel, “we’ve decided you’ll come with us, I’m not letting you stay alone while recovering.”   
“I don’t want to be a bother.”

Dean grazed his hand with two fingers. “You’re not.” He said and turning to Sam. “I’ll leave you two to discuss your thing… ” He was motioning with his fingers between them. “I’ll buy you fruit and try to find you some of that weird natural spring water, the one you like.” Dean turned around and walked out.

“Spring water?” Sam asked making a face. “Do you drink Spring water?”  
Dean rolled his eyes and left. “Don’t do anything I’d do…” he told his baby brother winking and making Cas laugh and blush

Castiel smiled, he had a crush on Sam since the second he set eyes on him, the second those dimples appeared, everything about him seemed perfect, and anyone would be lucky to have him. It just didn’t seem right for him.

Sam tried to tell him about things from home but Castiel fell asleep after few minutes.  
***

“Here you go…” Dean held the door open for Castiel, the apartment was clean and the couch had an absurdly large pile of pillows and blankets. “You should sit there for a while, okay? Watch some TV, kick your feet up; I’ll make you something to eat.”

Castiel smiled and rolled his eyes. “Yes mom…” Dean looked at him sullen. “I’m joking; I’ll be here, sitting doing nothing, letting you act like my slave…” he said placating as he did exactly what he was saying.  
Dean smiled. “At least until Sam comes back, he’s your boyfriend, right? He should be here…” Castiel laughed without wanting to, the stitches on his cheek and his lip hurt so he started picking on it, where did Dean got that idea?

“Stop that…” Dean slapped his hand away from the scabs cutting his line of thoughts away from clarifying he was not Sam’s boyfriend, once he saw Dean licking his lips and setting the remote on the table Cas took a breath and let it out.

“Why you’re always saying that? Sam and I kissed yes, but we’re not like a thing or anything…” Dean licked his lips and damn if it wasn’t sexy.

“Friend of my brother, my brother…” Dean mumbled.

Cas rolled his eyes. “That stupid rule is ruining my life… did you know your friend threatened me to fire me for kissing a boy at work?”  
Dean blinked. “How did he know?”

“Gadreel saw me!!” Cas let out angered and Dean made a sound of anger in support. “All because his girlfriend was fired…”

Dean snorted. “She was fired for putting her hand inside… someone’s pants.” Dean huffed. “I even had a fight over that, she was a bitch to clients!!” he said in indignant tone. 

“I know…” Cas held the glass Dean offered and took a sip by the straw. “As if a couple lousy lip gloss flavored kisses were enough!!”

“Lousy?” Dean screeched and Castiel turned at him, something clicked, looking at each other in the eyes, fear and excitement filling them both.

The slam of the door startled them both, Sam entered running. “I just found Mr. Reid…”

Dean groaned. “I sent him a check last week…!”

Sam sat next to Castiel and grinned. “I know… it’s just…” he let the tension grow for a couple seconds before saying. “There’s a three bedroom apartment right one floor under us, we could move next week if we want it.” He was grinning stupidly. “You don’t have to go back to your apartment Cas… we won’t be worried for you anymore…”

Cas looked at Sam Winchester the one guy he was absurdly, impossible, stupidly in love with, and smiled. “Really?”

Dean smiled from the door. “Yeah, you’re here all the time anyways… this way Sam won’t be worried for you and this neighborhood is safer…” 

Cas nodded . “I-I’d like that if you‘ll have me…”

Dean smile was so bright. “We do… I mean, we want you home, I’m okay with you two…”

Sam hooped and started babbling about how rent won’t be much more expensive and then without thinking hugged Castiel.

By the time Sam let him go Dean went missing.  
***

After a couple days; that felt like a century of mashed potatoes and jell-  
o, the doctor finally cleared him to solid food.

Castiel celebrated it with a burger, and he was eating it by giant mouthfuls, as if it will be the last burger he’d ever eat. Sam was looking at him smiling like a lunatic, he took a napkin from the table and moved to clean Castiel’s chin, Cas acting like a brat pulled away with a groan while chewing making Sam laugh and follow before the glob of mayo could fall on his shirt. “Stay put…”

Cas finally swallowed and held Sam’s wrist. “Let me go… is my burger you can’t have it.” Sam laughed hard getting closer to get a bite of the burger while Cas squirmed away, both gigging like idiots, the sound of Dean’s keychain falling on the table stopped them .

“No please... don’t stop on my account, I’ll just go to throw up…” Dean took his burger and moved to his new room.

Sam finally reached Cas cleaning his face and taking his food, they laughed and horsed around for a while until Sam said he had to read something for his summer classes.

Castiel heard the door opening later that night and heard Dean’s car, he woke up late, partly his pill’s fault, part the fact that he could actually sleep. What woke him up was Dean singing. It was good not the screeching he heard once in a while when Sam was around. Not the self conscious mumbling from when he’s in the car.

He got up and walked out of his room to find Dean dancing and singing while cleaning and something got in place, at least while he considered it. Because NO!! It can’t be; right?

Dean was not a sex God singer who could make people orgasm with just licking his lips and some song…

“You make it to your house, Knock on the front door, Run 'round to the back; You'll catch him just before he goes.” after a second of suspense and a twist of his hips he turned. “That's evil, evil is going on. I have warned you brother, you better watch yo--.” Dean saw Castiel there looking at him. “Oh shit…”

Castiel Smiled. “You’re amazing.” Because he was, he had the voice and the movements, Castiel knew now, Dean and John were the same person.

Castiel felt self conscious at the gasp that left his mouth and the embarrassment when he realized he didn’t notice earlier, his half open mouth and gasp of disbelief made Dean smile bashfully. “And I thought you two were banging.” He laughed as he covered his face ashamed. “How could I be so stupid.”

The sound of Dean’s laughter made him stop, this was it, this is what he wanted forever, someone to laugh with, to be silly and normal and not judged, this is what he wants.

Deep in his head was the part where he found the perfect person to have this with.  
***

Sam was coming home from the library it was almost dinner time and Dean said he’d make something special.

That’s when the black SUV parked just few feet away from him. “Coming Sammy…?” a sweet sexy voice called; it took him less than five seconds to be sitting next to her.

Sam climbed and the girl kissed him. “Glad you made it.” This happened every time he could shook Cas off, or Dean wasn’t there being so fucking perfect and gentleman-y.

Sam and the girl ended up on her bed sweaty and tired; the girl turned at him; a well kept fingernail tracing random patterns on his chest. “So…”  
Sam held her close and kissed her hair. “Not yet…”

She huffed and moved away. “You should get dressed, it’s late.”  
“no, come on, please…” Sam moved to hold her arm but she moved away. 

She turned not angry but obviously disappointed. “it’s been nine months Sam, nine months, Gen and Emma are tired of playing beard, and I can’t even get close to you in class.”

Sam let out a sigh. “I’ll tell them okay? Just…”

She rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom. By the time she came out Sam was gone.  
***


	4. Chapter 4

***

Dean went back to work and covered for Cas at the library, Castiel stayed at home for a little over a month, Mrs. Mosley understood and helped them to keep the secret.

By the time Dean went home Cas had dinner ready, Sam was back around the same time to go out two or three times a week without any explanation.

“I guess his girlfriends are back…” Dean said shrugging and walked out just to stop and turn to Castiel. “I guess you’re not exclusive or I’m being absurdly inappropriate with my jokes…”

Cas hid his blue eyes looking around in the floor as if he lost something. “No actually… we’re… I-I don’t know… I guess we’re not a thing after all…”

Cas thought he saw a smile tugging at Dean’s lips but that is absurd, right?

That until Sam’s phone started ringing every two minutes during dinner and when he finally answered went out of the apartment, Cas looked at Dean and his only response had been a shrug.

“You think he’s working as sex phone operator or something?” Castiel snorted a laugh before turning to his food.

“I’ve been thinking about our chat before summer…” Castiel started. “And you know… the...” he couldn’t address the event just like that.

Dean filled his mouth. “I thought it was just a couple lousy lip gloss stained kisses…” he filled his mouth and looked away blushing.

Castiel actually choked on his chicken parmesan and started laughing; Dean huffed before setting his fork on the table. “What?”

Castiel couldn’t stop smiling. “Nothing, I just… I still can’t believe you…” he made a motion with his hands like showing all of Dean. “My friend, are John! Also John? Why John?”

Dan chewed quietly for a couple seconds. “Because of my dad, me and Sam both brought one of his shirts as a gag.” Castiel snorted and Dean looked down blushing. “The first night I was wearing it.” Castiel didn’t answer, so he added in panic.

“and I know… I ‘m too old to keep doing the rock star thing, I just…” Dean let out a sigh. “Chuck is a friend, we played baseball together in high school and, we had this idea of forming a band.” 

Castiel sat closer. “You’re very very good.” Dean looked at him blinking and there it was the little naïve boy Cas saw at the bar, how come he couldn’t see it before?

Dean chewed a little more of food before finally opening. “One has to be careful, Cas, you were smitten with Sammy since we got here.” And finally looking at him. “I had to keep the team’s rule.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Friend of my brother…”

Dean shook his head from side to side. “Boyfriend of my brother my brother… so team mates won’t fight.”

Castiel tried to speak but only a gurgle came out, he cleared his throat. “You thought Sam would fight for me?”

Dean made a face. “We have never fought, but, there are things that… but it’s you…”

Castiel giggled and rolled his eyes. “Say one of the hottest guys here and in Babylon.” Dean laughed.

“yeah, the prissy who has a giant sign over and a bouncer?” he said self deprecating. “Who; is obviously too old for that shit?”

Cas smiled looking at him. “I was about to say the talented guy everyone wants to fuck? who everyone wants to hate but loves anyway?”.

Dean faced him. “You love me Cas?” Castiel got quiet, not sure on how to answer that question.

Dean smiled, the sad smile Cas learned didn’t really reach his eyes. “That’s okay… I was just joking.” He tried to move away.

“I’ve never been in love before…” he saw as Dean stuttered on his way to the sink. “I had crushes but my family… let’s say I’m not in good terms with them because they can’t accept who and what I am.”  
Dean turned. “Well; fuck them, their loss. You have friends here, and if you want to love my brother…”

Castiel scoffed. “Who broke you like that!?” Dean snapped his head toward him hurt obvious in his face. “I mean why you believe you don’t deserve this?”

Dean smiled. “Are you offering anything? Because last time I checked you were literally climbing on my brother’s lap on this same kitchen.”  
Castiel smirked. “He was climbing on me… and it was about my food nothing more.”

It was painfully obvious how Dean was fighting the hope; Castiel felt it, right there with the excitement and the low burn arousal. “If you say so…”Dean put his dish down and moved to the fridge for a beer.

“If I ask you a question… you promise not to punch my teeth out of my mouth?”

Dean snorted while she moved to put a beer in front of Cas. “Depends on the question…” he saw as his friend took the bottle, Cas needed some extra courage for what he was about to ask. 

He put the bottle down and started scratching the label avoiding Dean’s eyes nervous. “You know I won’t punch you, right? No matter what the question is…”

Cas smiled shyly and looked up. “Sam told me not to hurt you… why? What happened?”

Dean let out a breath through his nose and got up from the chair he was on. “None of your business.”

Castiel saw him leaving. “Told ya… you’d want to punch me in the face.”

He remained sit there for a while thinking about Dean and Sam and his feelings for the brothers, one thing was sure he wasn’t about to give up. 

“I can’t believe you think it was lousy kissing me…” Castiel didn’t had time to ask anything Dean held him pushed him against the counter and kissed him again.

Don’t ask, Castiel couldn’t remember his name.  
***

Castiel went back to work a couple nights after Dean -or John- went back too, and the full house after a very short notice was not a surprise at all.

Dean came out to the stage, mask on, and pants so tight you could see everything. He just thrummed his guitar and started I wanna do bad thing to you, and the house went wild, he heard after, that more than one girl fainted when he actually pulled one of the band members and rubbed against him. It was so embarrassing. 

It was just the excitement, almost happiness to be back; he was back and Chuck gave him his job back, and now here he was singing, just like his childhood dream had been.

“Good to have you back.” The one blond guy that people confuses with him slapped him in the back and Dean just smiled; Chuck gave him his own personal dressing room that of course after one of the boys, Gadreel to be precise, punched Dean in the face just to be handed his ass, and the Untouchable signs to appear, he was still buzzing with adrenaline as he walked the small dark hallway to his locker near the back door.

The door behind him filled with too many memories. “You were awesome.” Cas was waiting for him there, a stupid smile on his face and looking at Dean’s lips.

***

Classes this year would be different, they had different classes, Sam and Cas had two together and Dean and Cas only one; Biophysics 205. Sam and Dean had none. And it’s really sad, when you realize you’re not gonna be with those who were with you all the time, is like part of you goes missing, and is like being the new kid in school all over again, the nerves and the anxiety filling you and making you sad, Castiel felt just like he felt a year before when his brothers mocked him and nobody even said good bye to him when he left home.

To cheer himself up Castiel went to buy books, the same book store, the same girl at the register, the same queue, but things were different, more books, because with his job he could afford his books and not to worry for anything, now he had a savings account and this time Dean was with him.

Castiel got the Psychology 202 text book he needed and took a politics one for Dean, Sam needed something about ancient religions’ belief systems, and he had his arms full. 

He turned to see Gil as he bee lined to Dean and started talking to him: And of course Dean had to be perfect and nice with him, right? All smile and soul-searing eye contact, right? The slut…

Castiel gasped and his book fell from his hand. Dean was not doing anything, why he thought he was flirting with Gil? Where that came from? 

He knew that Dean was a nice guy, that was more than obvious-now- provides his head and he felt bad for it; he stopped sleeping around, and there’s also the fact that they’re not dating, he keeps repeating himself that a couple kisses are not a relationship, and that is Dean who acts as if those kisses never happened. He just acts like a sort of older brother, and it really frustrates him.

The first weekend after classes started they went to a party at Matt’s frat house. The first time the guys were hanging out off of work.

Castiel had danced with a guy, and right now he was at the top of the stairs against a wall as the guy was sucking a mark on his neck. from his vantage point he could see Dean roaming around the freshmen, too cute girls and too young boys, some of them too drunk to know what they’re doing, Dean held one of the girl and pushed her against the wall looking at her eyes and blinking. The girl practically rubbed on him before he took her towards the door.

Castiel pushed the boy to a side and the kid giggled and sat on the floor looking at his fingers and suckling at his cup as if it were a nipple. Dean was gone and something bitter and malicious was growing in him.

He stood there waiting for over an hour drinking shot after shot of tequila until Dean came back, and went straight for someone else. “Dude!!” Someone was at his side in no time. “your friend is in so much trouble…” when he turned it was the blond tall one, Chris, he was the Host of Wednesday to Friday on Babylon’s. “My brothers are done with him; that’s the third kid he’s taking out.”

Cas was too drunk to understand; all he knew is that Dean had a boy against him with a hand on the small of his back while a bunch of frat boys were moving to him. “Damn it, all because he’s a fucking slut.” Castiel groaned.

The blond guy looked at him in disbelief. “No man, he doesn’t sleep with them; he drives them home.”

Castiel looked at the floor where the boy was shielded by Dean; it made him feel like such a bastard, for thinking Dean was taking advantage of those kids. “He’s been doing it since I first saw him last year, the first time he came with Chuck…”

They saw as one of the big guys swung a fist to Dean just to be avoided and held in an arm bar and sent forward crushing with the rest.

It was a thing of minutes before some more of Babylon’s whores –as they were known from that day on- to be there helping Dean.

And it was hilarious, Cas tried to fight with his friends just to be punched down. Dean picked him up after seconds worried eyes on him saying his name: that’s why he was never the one Dean took home, because this was his first time drinking at all. 

In the end campus security appeared and ended the party, when things were explained and arrests were made Dean was free to go and he just turned and picked up Castiel. “Come on limpet… let’s go home.”

Once in the car Cas smiled at Dean caressing his arm. “I’m a stupid idiot… I don’t deserve you. No wonder why you don’t want me…” he said pestering Dean and stopping him from starting the car.

“What nonsense are you babbling about?” Dean turned at him, two boys and a girl still on the back seat almost passed out. 

Castiel looked at Dean and then to the people behind them. “I thought you were sleeping around, and I thought you were always going after someone else, even when I didn’t like you, when I wanted to believe I didn’t…” Castiel giggled. “It was never hate or disgust… I acted like such an ass…” Dean moved his hand to stop a wiggling Castiel.

“I’m taking them to their dorms and then we’re gonna take you to bed. okay?”

So Dean drove around with a drunk Castiel babbling his feelings to him.

“It wasn’t disgust or anger, it was jealousy, from day one, from the second I saw you at the diner they day I met your brother and you…” he said when finally Dean was carrying him out of the car. “I’m sorry…”  
Dean ignored the drunk man he practically was carrying his arms, he knew Castiel wouldn’t remember this In the morning.

“I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you…” Castiel said as he drank the glass of water Dean gave him once he was in bed and without shoes.

Dean held the hand that was passing over blue eyes. “Who says you’re not enough?”

Castiel moved closer and nuzzled his neck. “Love how you smell, love how perfect you are…” and giggling he kept talking. “And I hope you’re drunk enough to forget this…”

Dean nodded and stopping the wandering hands and the head pressed against him. “Who says you’re not enough…”

“Sam, Sam says he has to protect you…. And I get it, I’m just a red-neck, a self important bubba… right?”

Dean let out a sigh. “Sleep, okay?” and pressed him to the pillow against his efforts to sit. “Castiel I mean it, sleep.” Cas could see as Dean’s eyes traveled over his neck where he knew had few bruises.

Castiel nodded like a good boy and smiling softly blurted. “I shouldn’t have kissed Lee… but he had freckles just like you. I wanted him to be you….”

“Sleep, we’ll talk about this in the morning okay?” Castiel nodded but after a second he looked confused. 

“Talk about what?”

Dean smiled. “You being perfect and not needing to be anything you are not for anyone.” Castiel whooped softly. “not even for me, okay? Lest of all for me.” Cas nodded.

“About you kissing me at work… because Chuck might want to fire me…”

Dean smiled. “He won’t.”

“Everybody saw it Dean, that I loved you, everyone but me… everybody warned me not to hurt you while all I did was…” his hands were flapping once more around and Dean giggled. “Did you know you love me like I love you?”

Dean felt panic rising. LOVE was major words. “Good night Cas.”

Cas repeated the words and made a kissy face, Dean smiled rolling his eyes. “Good night angel.” He said kissing Castiel’s forehead and hearing a groan from his trouble.

Castiel had the craziest dream in his dream he declared his undying love to Dean Winchester inside a small theater with a dark haired cherub, a hippie and a siren watching them and clapping.

The kiss on his forehead, almost felt real.

***

Sam parked his brand new car in front of the frat house; She was at his side, dressed in a mini dress that made her legs miles long. Instead of a party what they saw was a bunch of cops and people leaving.

“Damn…” she looked really pissed. “So I came all the way here for nothing?”

“You were late.” Sam looked nervous. “He was here, I swear.”

“I had to work, and I go to school, and a newspaper is not the same as a yoga class.” Sam huffed angry defending his job. “Sam Winchester…” she rubbed her forehead. “You know what? That’s it, I’m done…”

Sam turned desperate. “Please… just… just.”

“No, tomorrow, if you’re gonna do it; then tomorrow.” Sam tried to say something. “Or I’ll go see your brother either you warn him or not.”  
Sam decided to do this once and for all. He was desperate.

***

Castiel woke up on the couch, his body felt like melted gummy bears still hot, feel on your skin, his head was painfully thumping and heavy, the light scarce as it was, since the curtains are drawn still hurts and even the rustling of the crispy clean sheet he’s wrapped in hurt, his mouth tasted like someone vomited in it and… OH… that image was enough; his hand traveled to his mouth but with almost no sound a trashcan was shoved in his face as he puked. He tried to breath but the smell was enough for him to puke more.

He had tears running down his cheeks and his throat felt on flames when he finally looked up. “I’m dying…” 

Dean chuckled looking at him with a one sided smile. “No, you’re hung over, it’ll pass…” he offered two pills and a bottle of Gatorade. 

Everything came back to Cas, everything and he felt even worst out of pure embarrassment.

“Did all the awfully douche-y things I remember were real? The fight?” Dean nodded. “the guy…” his own hand traveled to his throat and the dull ache of a bruise answered for him. Chris came back too, what he said ad his own confession. With a gasp he looked at Dean. “Oh shit…”

Dean smiled again. “No, no, no, you’re not gonna chicken out now…” Castiel groaned and fell down, way too close to the trashcan for his liking.  
“Please ignore me... let me die of dehydration or shame… or whatever…” and it hit him he was naked. “Oh no… did we?”

Dean snorted. “Gosh no… ” And he started laughing to stop suddenly when blue hurt eyes flashed at him. “of we ever… I’d like you fully conscious” Castiel gasped and hid his face for a second but the movement made him feel dizzy and like hurling again.

I had to undress you, because you throwed up in your bed… twice.” Another groan of shame later Dean kept talking, “and in my bed…” another groan.   
“and Sam…” a whine left him and Dean couldn’t suppress his laughter. 

“Sam’s bed is safe, he didn’t come home last night.” After a beat of silence he finally kept talking. “but could arrive at any time, your bed is ready, so move…” he pushed Cas’ feet off the couch but when he moaned Dean let him be and started talking. “Have you ever dated someone Cas?”

The guy next to him answered with a sad no. “How do you know you—“the word choked him “--like me then… it could be something else…”

Castiel raised his head. “I am sure…”

“Cas... kid I’m not… I’m damaged goods, Sammy…”

“… but I don’t want Sam… I still wanted you even after he kissed me and all.”

“Do you know where the rule at Babylon’s comes?” Castiel made a face. “It comes from the time I played baseball, that way the team will never fight over a girl or a boy.”

“But…”

Dean held his hand and Cas got quiet. “Sam broke the rule once.” The silence that fell between them was just too heavy; it finally forced Dean to speak. “Right after high school I met this girl… Cassie, and she was… ” he made a face that explained everything. As if he thought she hung the moon. 

“The only bad thing is that she wanted me to give up my Music, and wanted me to go to college with her in Ohio, and…” letting out a sigh. “I told her about my family, about mom and my dad, and everything… I told her…” Cas sat up his headache forgotten as he felt the need to support Dean. “And Cassie understood everything wrong.”

“I was opening myself so she could be part of my life, part of my family, and she wanted me to choose between her or my family…” Castiel sat closer feeling his heart shattering at the explanation. “I would never leave my dad or Sammy, not even…” he licked his lips. “Cassie was determined to take me away from them and… Sam was young and stupid and she…”

“Oh… Dean.”

“It wasn’t his fault, she accepted she did it. But I had to leave, I couldn’t stay home.”

Castiel moved in front of Dean “and you came here with him?”

Dean shrugged. “Chuck was here… so I just came following the band. And Sammy is my brother; I couldn’t just let him leave alone. he wanted to make things right, he tried to convince me to talk to her, to go back, I hope he got the memo now… I’m happy here, with school and the band, and I forgave him, I did. ” He scrunched his eyes and looked at Cas. “Finding you… that was unexpected and was thanks to Sam.”

Castiel felt his heart skipping a beat. “I meant it, you know? I thought it was anger or... or... something else when it was only jealousy… I fell in love with you when you smiled at me the first day…” and blushing. “And I couldn’t understand you not wanting me.”

Dean bit his lips before speaking. “What about Sam?”

Castiel had no idea of what to say. “I don’t think it was ever real. I was stupid and lonely and he was nice.” And finally after swallowing his nervousness Castiel said. “You’re everything I want.”

Dean pulled him up close to his lap but Castiel squirmed. “I just throwed up… and I’m naked.” he whined and both guys laughed. 

Castiel got up and ran to the bathroom while Dean got rid of the ruined trashcan. “Don’t you dare to move on or change your mind as I get dressed.” Cas shouted from the bathroom through a mouth full of toothpaste. “When I’m done, we’re gonna kiss.”

“I’m right here and not going anywhere.”

As Castiel came out of his room and was walking slowly to Dean who had his arms spread in invitation the door opened and hit the wall. Sam entered walking as a matador would in front of a half ton bull. “okay, that’s it! Hear me out you morons.”

Cas was about to open his mouth as he closed the space between them but Dean held his elbow and made him stop. “I know I made a mistake Dean, I do, and I’ve been acting as if I don’t care but the guilt is killing me and all I want is for you to be happy with whoever you choose, and this time I’m not gonna be in the middle…”

He took a breather. “And Cas? I saw it in your eyes that you liked him, but I thought he wanted something – someone else, that I’ll have my chance to amend my mistake… ” Dean and Cas could hear steps outside. “But he still had her picture, I saw it, and I thought he’d hurt you because he wasn’t ready yet…” and gasping for air. “Until Summer, I thought… but if I don’t do this I’m gonna loose the girl I love, and I ‘m not ready to do that.” Castiel chuckled but Sam looked at his brother. “I’m sorry about this dean.”

“Are you done?” Dean didn’t even looked him in the eye.

Sam put his hands in his pockets while shaking his head and speaking fast. “I did everything wrong again, huh? But…”

Dean’s arm wrapped Cas’ waist. “Sammy, I don’t think…”

“Let me finish….” Dean waved his other hand in a go ahead gesture as he pulled Castiel close. Sam was too upset to notice. “I-I called her… Cassie, she’s been… we’ve been… ”Castiel turned to Dean, he was white and his face showed how much this was affecting him.

“It was my fault, I thought I could… I contacted her, thinking that’s what you wanted.” Cas let out a breath and a curse. “I called and told her it was her fault, I told her she doesn’t deserve you… I told her I found someone better for you. I told her you’re over her. But I guess I lied because no matter how much I try to bring him home, and keep having him around. You just don’t act on it, is this because that stupid rule?”

Dean looked at his brother his hand leaving Castiel. “Is not stupid… ”

Sam waved him off as he turned to see the door. “I was confused and thought it was better if you two didn’t get together, but you idiots obviously are crazy for each other… !!” and raising his hands in the air. “And you’re not gonna act on it because a rule I was the first one breaking?” and facing Cas. “And you won’t do something when it’s obvious you’re head over heels for each other…”

Dean laughed hard, hard! Bending down and cackling like a maniac. “What? What is so funny?”

Dean pulled Cas by the hand and kissed him, Sam’s jaw dropped. Dean broke the kiss to see his baby brother still staring. “We did something…”  
Someone was laughing from the door. “And this idiot was worried for you?”

Sam moved to her held her hand. “Dean, Cas, this is Jess, and we’ve been dating since last November.”

“Good. “ Dean’s held Castiel closer. “Nice to meet you Jess, I guess you’re the one he’s been sneaking out With.”

Castiel smiled at the dumb yet cute face Sam had under the reddest blush he’s ever seen. It was like having a family; it was like having a real one.

***

“Welcome to Babylon’s.” Cas offered his clients a smile and giving them courtesy drinks. “You’re right in time to see Louden Swain.”

It was winter so the waiters had see through t-shirts on, it did nothing to stop the staring and the groping but tonight Castiel didn’t mind, he was taking his break during the first part of Dean’s act: the first time without a mask. Finally Dean was comfortable enough to do it without a mask, and the reaction of the audience was outrageous.

He kept singing along even when they drove home. “I assume you liked it.” Dean had a stupid smile on his face and a hand on Cas’s; fingers entwined.   
Castiel smiled like an idiot. “I always liked your voice.”

They were like that all the time, all the time! 

Even at school, they wait for each other, and Dean goes to the library with homemade food three times a week so Cas and Mrs. Mosley could eat with him. 

Their grades were almost perfect, and Jess was what Sam needed, she balanced him, made him a better person.

That Summer Dean took Cas home to meet his father, and to learn about the oh-so-secret business.

John loved Castiel from day one; so much he invited him for Christmas too.

They took the car and drove in a three days journey while Sam went to meet Jessica’s parents to Louisiana. 

The day before Christmas Castiel was trying to keep his bag away from   
Dean who was like a kid and didn’t want to wait to see his – other- present. “It’s a surprise… Dean... No!” Dean stretched his arms trying to reach the one Castiel had pulled away from him, and when his lover gave up Cas kissed his cheek, where his favorite freckle is.

“You won’t have a present…” he said faking a grumpiness he obviously didn’t feel still looking at the bag kept far from his reach.

Castiel smiled and thrown himself forward making Dean squeak and move fast to catch him. “Cas!!!”

“That... there?” Cas said as he kissed dean still holding him in his arms. “Knowing you’ll always catch me. That’s my present. I don’t need anything else.” The smile that crept on Dean’s face was enough to melt the entire winter, Cas felt arms wrap around him. 

“I’ll always be there for you.” He knew it was true.

Over Dean’s Shoulder he could see a girl, pretty face, caramel skin, fleshy lips and sad eyes fix on them. That was her, the girl from the picture Sam showed him, and he won’t share his Dean with her. 

His arms wrapped tighter around his dean. “If we go home now…” he offered. “I’ll make you hot chocolate, just like your mom used to.”

Dean whooped and carried him bridal stile and started walking to the car among a fit of laughter. 

She had no idea of the treasure she lost.

The end   
___

**Author's Note:**

> so, the fill is okay, don't think I'll have another melt down.  
> I just wanted to point out that I do not believe Sam or Jared (esp Jared)would ever act like this.
> 
> I needed someone that Cas would have a crush on but in order for the story to work he had to stop liking him a bit.  
> So this does not reflect the real Sam or Jared, and does not reflect my opinion on him either.  
> Don't worry at the end everything will work out.  
> so... hope you like the updates.  
> *bows and runs away*


End file.
